Dream of: 21 April 1998 "Sarcophagi"
Carolina was sitting in the front passenger seat of the car which I was driving. We were in the country, surrounded by stands of trees and rolling green fields. Suddenly, on my right, I noticed a strong dark buck deer. I hollered out to Carolina what I had seen, but by the time she looked, we had already passed. She somewhat insultingly suggested that I was just making up the sighting, that I hadn't seen the deer at all. I thought of braking the car and backing up to prove the deer's existence. But all at once, in a wide verdant field on my right, I saw a doe with two young fawns standing next to it. As I slowed down so Carolina could see, I saw several other deer dappling the placid field. The deer seemed alert and interested in us; their long ears propped high. They stood still and didn't run.
As I slowed the car to a halt, close to the wire fence where one of the deer was standing, I noticed another animal stationed beside the road — a monkey. The leathery little animal was perhaps a half meter tall, standing on it hind legs. It looked like a chimpanzee. It seemed harmless enough, but I was uncertain whether it might be dangerous, especially when I noticed it was trying to crawl through the back window.
My brother Chris, crippled with muscular dystrophy, was riding in the back seat. Since Chris was too weak to defend himself, I was acutely concerned that the monkey would scratch or bite Chris. Already the monkey had moved its face close to Chris, almost as if it were trying to kiss him. Realizing I had to do something, I opened my door and stepped out. I then opened Chris's door and carefully helped him out of the car, holding him up by the shoulders so he could stand on his feet. As we stepped around outside the car, I could see how thin and spindly his legs seemed. But at least he was able to walk to some extent, as long as I held him up. The last time I had seen him he couldn't even walk.
Chris began asking me about a trip which I was planning to take to Europe, and whether I intended to take him with me. I hadn't given the project much thought, but I told him I would like to take him with me. With a weak voice he suggested some preparations to which I needed to tend if I intended to take him. His attitude almost seemed to be that he was the one doing me the favor by allowing me to take him. I wondered if he even thought about how much work I must undertake in order to carry him all over Europe. But at the same time, I didn't mind. Even though the strain would be intense, I wanted Chris to accompany me. However difficult his presence might be, I would certainly benefit from it.
I was already thinking of places we would visit. My imagination was so vivid, we already seemed to be in a museum, the Louvre in Paris. As we were walking down the stairs toward the lower level, I picked Chris up in my arms and began carrying him. In the dim light below I could already see the ancient marble sarcophagi, beige marble mottled with strains of brown, intricate figures and scenes carved over the surface. How interesting it would be to walk with Chris among these tombs.
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