Dream of: 29 January 1998 (2) "Sex With A Pregnant Woman"
I had just arrived in a town in Germany called "Mannheim" and had gone to the center of town. I had read that a new building complex, apparently a civic center, had recently been built downtown. In typical German fashion, a gigantic beer-hall was supposed to have been built in the basement of the complex. Since I didn't know where else to go, I decided to go to the beer-hall.
As soon as I arrived at the complex, I descended the stairs to the basement, and found the room where I thought the beer-hall should be. I stood outside the door and looked in. Since it was still early in the day, no one appeared to be inside the bright well-lit room. The place seemed different from the dark shadowy beer halls which I had visited in Germany.
I noticed a door leading to another room and I looked through it. When I saw a stage inside the room, I thought a band would probably be playing there later in the night, but no people were in this room either.
Since no one was around, I turned to leave, and noticed a young black woman standing about three meters from me. I heard her say something about "internationale." I thought she was indicating this place was for an international set, but since I hadn't understood her completely, I simply shook my head and walked on.
As I walked away and began putting on the jacket which I had been holding in my hand, I thought that I had experienced this kind of thing many times before when I had been in other countries, that people would speak to me and I would just walk away. I thought instead of walking away, I should stop and talk to these people. The black woman had probably been speaking German, and it would have been a good opportunity for me to practice my German.
Nevertheless I continued walking, climbing back up the stairs. Just as I reached the top, an eight or nine year old boy was standing with his mother, looking out over something, which I thought might be an ice rink. The boy was standing in the middle of the stairs, blocking my way. When he saw me, he said something jokingly, and acted as if he were going to try to push me back down the stairs. I thought this was an example of what I had just been thinking about. I could now turn and walk on, or I could stop and talk with the boy and his mother. I decided to talk to the boy. In a playful way I began wrestling with the boy, each of us holding the other's wrist, as if we were tying to throw each other down the stairs.
The boy's mother walked up and joined in on the fun. While I held the boy's wrists, she picked him up by the feet. She and I swung the boy between us, as if we were going to throw him down the stairs.
When she and I finally set the boy back down, I looked at her more closely. She was probably in her early 20s, attractive but not beautiful, wearing a drab ankle-length dress. I thought I might be able to spend some time with her and her son. When I looked at her more closely, I realized she was just barely pregnant. I thought of talking to her about her pregnancy, addressing it as a problem which could be dealt with. For myself, I knew I didn't have to worry about such a thing happening, because I had had a vasectomy.
Even though the woman was pregnant, I was still attracted to her, and I wondered what it would be like to have sex with someone pregnant. It struck me that my sexual desires were so strong that I wanted to have sex with every woman I saw, even a pregnant woman. I simply couldn't seem to control my sexual desires. It seemed reprehensible that I was that way, that I would even want to have sex with a pregnant woman.
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