Dream of: 09 September 1997 "Telling Stories"

Three or four men had shown up at a house where I was living in Portsmouth. All the men were strong and muscular (probably in their early 30s). I had been cooking some food and I soon realized the men intended to stay for a meal. The kitchen and the living room were combined in one large room. I busied myself with the meal in the kitchen, while the men stirred about in the living room.

It soon became clear that the men were all the criminal type, utterly devoid of scruples, in league with each other. They would often meet as they were doing now, and practice crimes which they planned to commit. Today they were practicing robbery. In the living room they took turns playing an innocent victim walking down the street. One of them would approach the make-believe victim and rob him. Clearly this kind of practice was important for a successful robber. So many things could go wrong in a robbery. By practicing this way, the men would be better prepared for unforeseen contingencies.

I looked inside the stove to check the casserole which I was preparing, some kind of pasta in tomato sauce. I realized I had left the pasta in the oven too long, and about two thirds of it had simply disappeared. Nevertheless there appeared to be enough for everyone. I thought I would put the casserole on the kitchen table along with the rest of the food, and everyone could serve themselves buffet-style.

Once the men finished practicing, we began eating. We sat around the living room, eating and talking about the pact they had with each other. As part of the pact, they had all agreed that if any member was convicted of a felony, that person would be expelled from the group. Their reasoning was fairly simple. They figured that a person with a felony on his record would be under pressure to squeal on his friends if he were charged with a second felony. A person convicted for the first time of a felony was unlikely to squeal; but they were unwilling to take the risk with a second felony. It made some sense with me, but I wasn't completely satisfied with the agreement.

I realized it was important for me to be familiar with their rules, because it was slowly becoming clear that I was being incorporated into their group. In fact, once we finished eating, they decided to take me with them on one of their robbing missions. We left the house on foot, and as we headed down the street, I was still thinking of the rules of the group. I was still worried about what would happen if one of the members was arrested and incarcerated. It seemed to me that even if the person had only been convicted of one felony, he still might have good reason to squeal on the others. That worried me. I thought I needed more protection.

I decided that I was going to make a tape recording in which I would delineate all the illegal activities which I knew about each person in the group. I would make a separate tape for each person. I would make a copy of each tape which I would keep in a safe place. I would then take a second copy and play it to each person, explaining that if anything happened to me, my hidden copy would be turned over to the police. That would be my insurance against their doing something to me.

Our walk continued until we finally reached a bus depot. Several buses were lined up outside, filled with passengers, ready to depart. Suitcases were stacked on racks on the back of each bus. Quickly each of the men with me went over to a bus and stole a suitcase. As I realized this was their present mission, to steal suitcases and look for valuables in them, I also realized I too was expected to steal a suitcase. I hesitated. I didn't want to steal somebody's suitcase. I didn't like stealing from individuals like that. I didn't mind stealing. But it had always been my code to rob from soulless businesses or corporations, never from individuals.

I thought about how people lost suitcases on airlines. Now I understood better how such a thing could happen. I had always felt sorry for such people, and found it hard to believe that I would actually be one of the people who would steal someone's suitcase. Nevertheless, in this situation I felt I had no other choice. I quickly slipped up to the rack of suitcases on one box and pulled out a small brown leather one.

As part of the plan each of the members of my group boarded a separate bus. We planned to leave on the buses, then meet up later. Stepping onto my bus, I was surprised to see that it was completely full of black women. I felt even worse to think that I was stealing the suitcase of some poor black woman. What could I expect to find in such a suitcase?

I scanned the bus, looking for a place to sit. Almost all the seats were taken. The seats looked like those on a school bus; three people could sit in each seat. Most of the seats only had two women in them, but I didn't want to crowd in. Finally I saw one empty seat toward the rear of the bus and I took it.

My seat was actually more like a bed than a seat and I was able to stretch out completely. A black girl around eighteen or nineteen years old was lying right next to me. She was next to the window, while I was on the aisle side. She and I were the only people lying down; everyone else was sitting up.

I thought about trying to sleep but another black woman sitting right across the aisle from my face was talking incessantly. I finally made a distinct sighing noise and she picked up on it, that I was signaling her to quiet down. She had been telling stories and she asked me if I would like to tell one. I told her that I might tell one in a little while, but that I would have to think about it first.

The bus rolled along, moving south. It was soon clear that we were in the deep south, and I wondered what state we were in. It seemed as if we might be in Georgia, but I thought we were farther west than Georgia. We passed through several towns until we finally came to a town which had several tall impressive buildings downtown. All the buildings were under construction. Someone began explaining that the buildings had been started but never completed. Now it looked as if they might never be finished. No one was working on them.

Having passed through downtown, when we reached the outskirts, I noticed a stunning metal statue of a man and some kind of animal. It appeared to be standing in a marble fountain, although there was no water in the fountain. The statue, like everything else in the town, seemed to have been created and then abandoned, now of little or no use.

As the trip continued, I began to focus almost all my attention on the girl lying next to me. When I had first lain down beside her. I had thought she was rather homely. She was wearing glasses and seemed to have her hair in a braid. We had a cover over both of us, and gradually our bodies had pushed closer and closer together and I had felt how young and firm she was. At first I had started running my bare foot over her shin, and she hadn't stopped me. Then I had begun grazing my hand up and down her bare leg. Again she had allowed me to proceed. Gradually she had begun moaning, as if in ecstasy. Finally I put my hand on her bare pubic area and caressed her stiff black hair. Her legs were pressed together, but it was obvious that I would be able to pry them apart if I wanted. It was also obvious to me that she was a virgin. I could tell that she had had no experience whatsoever with men. We never said a word to each other, I just continued caressing her.

Finally the bus stopped and we were told that we were going to have a stop in a little town. An older black woman sitting near me turned to me and told me that I should get off the bus and take the girl into a hotel. It seemed like strange advice to be coming to me from another black woman, but apparently the black woman could tell that it was time for the girl to have her first experience. The older woman seemed to divine that the girl was under much pain and pressure because she had never had sex, and that it would be more appropriate in a hotel than here in public on a bus.

The girl and I both stood up and made our way off the bus, which had stopped in front of an old but somewhat elegant hotel. The girl and I boldly walked into the lobby. Now I could see her better. She was far more appealing than I had first thought. And I was becoming quite fond of her, in fact, I already liked her very much. She was still not saying anything, almost as if she were mesmerized by me and willing do to do anything I wanted. I had a similar feeling for her, finding myself more attracted to her with each passing moment. She was extremely light skinned, highlighted by the innocence of her face.

A portly man in charge of the hotel was standing in the lobby. I quickly told him what I wanted a room, and asked how much it was. I was afraid he might object to my renting a room just while the bus was stopped there. But he obviously knew what was going on and seemed to have no objection. I pulled out a wad of money and he named a figure. I thought he had said ten dollars, so I peeled off a ten and gave it to him. Apparently that was correct because he told us to go down the hall to the room at the end. I proceeded in what I thought was the right direction, but I had trouble finding the room. Finally I found what appeared to be a door. But when I opened it, I could see that it was just a window giving onto a room. However through the window, I could see the room inside. The window was up near the ceiling of the room, too high to jump down into the room. But I could see the door on the other side, and now knew where to go to get into the room.

I led the girl around the hall to the door of the room. Now I noticed that her button-up shirt was undone and that her breasts, the size of small grapefruits, were clearly visible. I felt entranced by the vision of her, her light dark skin. After all, she was quite beautiful. I couldn't wait to get in the room and be with her. As I reached the door and opened it, I turned on the light switch next to the door. But it wasn't the light switch. It was a switch which turned on a shower, and water began spraying all over the room. I quickly turned the switch off and the water stopped. I looked at the extremely small room, all painted light blue. There was only room enough for one small bed and a large white bathtub (the old-fashioned kind with four feet) which was sitting right next to the bed. The shower head was above one end of the tub. Things were a little wet now, but I wasn't disappointed. There was plenty of room for what I had in mind, and a little water wasn't going to hurt anything.

As the girl and I had stepped into the room, another young woman who apparently worked in the hotel stepped up and walked in the room with us. For a moment I thought she was going to stay and watch us. I didn't object – it might even prove interesting. I immediately pulled off my tee shirt, as both the girl and the woman looked at my white chest, which contrasted with the girls light brown chest. I noticed that my upper chest looked strong and firm but my stomach seemed flaccid. I sucked in my stomach to give a better impression.

The woman apparently didn't intend to stay. As she turned to leave, she took another look at the girl and said, "She must be a virgin." I thought the woman was correct, but that the girl wouldn't be a virgin for much longer. The woman stepped out of the door, shutting it behind her.

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