Dream of: 03 August 1997 (2) "Scream"
I was at the home of a woman whom I didn't know well; she seemed to be the sister of one of my friends. Twelve or thirteen women were gathered in her living room, obviously a women's group. As I scanned their faces, it was as if I were looking at a computer screen – their faces seemed to flash across the screen, one after the other. Sensing that the women were surprised by my presence, I felt somewhat embarrassed being there. Obviously the women, assembling regularly to discuss their lives and personal problems, were unaccustomed to having a man present. However I was glad I had come. I even felt somewhat choked up, as if this was something I really needed to do, to sit down with a group like this and talk about myself.
However, as the women began talking, I simply couldn't bring myself to participate. I just sat there, feeling overwhelmed by everything that had happened to me in my life. It would take hours to relate all the things I had done and all the places I had been. There were so many unresolved issues, I was afraid my story might just bore or confuse whoever might hear it. So I just sat there, thinking that all I would say was that I was a farm boy from Gallia County Ohio, but I didn't even say that. I didn't say anything. So when the meeting concluded, because I hadn't taken part, I felt as if everyone was disappointed in me, and as if I wouldn't be welcome to return again.
Nevertheless, about a week later I did return for the next meeting. As soon as I walked into the room I could tell that everyone was surprised to see me. The woman whose home we were in gave me a particularly nasty look. Clearly none of the women felt that I was a group person. I could also feel a certain animosity toward me, which I thought was generated by my being a male showing up at a woman's group. I stayed anyway, and this time I was able to talk. I talked and talked, telling the women about my life. At the end of the meeting, the women's faces again began going past me as if being scrolled sideways across a computer screen. All of them were moved by my story, some to tears, some holding handkerchiefs to dry their eyes. Clearly, upon hearing my story, all the women had developed an affection for me, and I could see that I would be welcome to return again.
Sensing that I would be welcome for the next meeting, I began envisioning what the next time would be like. Yet again I saw the faces of the people pass before me as if on a computer screen. Only this time I immediately saw that not just women, but men were also part of the group. Apparently my talking had changed the whole structure of the group, so that now none of the original women remained. Now the group consisted of a whole new assortment of people, both men and women, and many seemed older than the women in the first group.
I thought I would have so much to tell them, now that I was open to telling them of my many adventures. I had just recently had a long complicated adventure in Japan which I would be sharing with them. As I watched the faces pass before me on the computer screen, I also saw on the screen the scene of my present adventure which I would relate to them, an adventure somewhere north of Alaska in a arctic area.
In the scene I saw two people, a man and a woman, sitting in the icy water. I was the woman. The man and I both seemed to be wearing plastic body suits to protect us from the freezing water. All around were small islands in a truly beautiful setting.
Suddenly a small boat raced up toward us and an old man on the boat hollered out to me that I should come with him at once, that something important had happened. He had a rope on the back of the boat, a rope attached to an orange object at the end. When the man pulled the boat up close to me, I grabbed the rope and the man began pulling me behind the boat. As he raced back toward one of the islands, he told me to watch out for the animals.
I looked over at the nearby crags along the shoreline, and I realized the man had been referring to the seals and sea lions which were abundant in this area. I didn't think any of the animals would bother me, and I began thinking I could even ski along behind the boat. Even though I didn't have on any skis, I raised myself up on the water to my feet. I didn't stop there. I continued rising out of the water, like someone being pulled behind a boat with a parachute. Extremely exhilarating.
As I floated along through the air, holding onto the rope, I noticed we were passing a high glacial iceberg on my right. The face of the iceberg rose perpendicularly from the sea. I glided over next to the iceberg so I could touch its side with my right hand as I flew past. As my hand washed over its surface, it felt as if I were touching the skin of a porpoise or a whale, and for a moment I even wondered if I might actually be touching a live animal. The feel of everything was just so exciting that I couldn't help myself and I let out a stentorian scream. The sound of my own scream made me lucid and I realized I was dreaming. I hoped I hadn't screamed so loud that I had awakened anyone. It was unusual for me to scream in a dream. I didn't remember having ever done it before.
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