Dream of: 17 July 1997 "My Step-Grandfather's Funeral"

I had just arrived on the Gallia County Farm where the funeral of my step-grandfather Clarence was about to take place. I was late and I was in a hurry because I was so supposed to play a role in the funeral. When I arrived, I quickly looked into the living room which was much larger than usual and I saw Clarence lying in a casket. A large crowd of people were sitting around in folding chairs. Clifford (whom I first met as a classmate in junior high school) was sitting there; I was surprised and happy to see that he had come to the funeral.

I walked to a back room where my mother and my father were getting ready for the funeral. Our family was supposed to march out in a little procession. I was somewhat dismayed with myself because I thought I should have done more than simply march in a procession – I should have prepared a little speech to say something about Clarence and his life. I thought it was an indication of my indolence and my apathy toward him that I had failed to prepare such a speech. Besides that, I wasn't even ready for the procession. It was ten minutes before the hour and I wasn't even properly dressed. I had a pin-striped suit with me which I hastily put on. However, once I was dressed, I saw some problems. I still had on blue jean pants and I couldn't find the suit pants. I thought I would have to wear the blue jeans until I found the suit pants and put them on. They looked much better than the blue jeans. But next I noticed that the dull green socks I was wearing had a hole in the right heel. I finally found some other socks which I put on. Finally I appeared ready to go.

I had intended to carry some books in front of me, books sitting on a mantle in the room. But finally I realized I would look better without the books and I decided to just go out without them. I looked at myself several times in a mirror, thinking I simply didn't look as good as I should for the funeral. Besides that I realized that when I had looked in on Clarence I hadn't even looked closely at him. Another sign that I didn't show as much respect for him as I should have.

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