Dream of: 26 June 1997 "Estrangement"

I was in Portsmouth in a car with three other men who were old friends (or at least people I used to know) also visiting Portsmouth. Weinstein was one. I asked one of them where he was living now and he gave me a name of what sounded like a small town. I asked him if the town was somewhere in Ohio and he told me it was near Philadelphia. I found it interesting that we had all started from Portsmouth but then had left. Weinstein now lived in New York and I was living near Dallas.

I was thinking of moving back to Portsmouth. Whether I lived in Portsmouth or in another city no longer made much difference to me. I would be just as satisfied to live in Portsmouth. Would Weinstein be disdainful if I moved back to Portsmouth? Living somewhere else had always been so important to him, he might not understand; but it didn't make that much difference Weinstein and I didn't communicate much anyway; we weren't that close. Had our estrangement originated in his having told me he was gay? We never touched each other in a friendly way anymore. For instance, when we used to meet after having not seen each other in a long time, we used to give each other a big hug; but we didn't do that any more.

The car finally stopped in front of the house where Weinstein was staying probably his parents' house. We were just stopping so Weinstein could run inside for a moment and pick up something. He hopped out of the car. After he went inside, I thought perhaps I should have gone in with him, to take advantage of the short time we had here to be with him. We wouldn't have much time together here in Portsmouth and I used to want to spend more time with him when we were together; but I didn't follow. Somehow it seemed best for me just to wait.

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