Dream of: 04 January 1997 "A Delicate Subject"
As I was walking down a city street, I came upon a strange sight: 10-15 emus were running down the street. Obviously the emus must have escaped from somewhere; at first I felt good to see them free. But then I realized the emus had no concept of motor vehicles; they would surely run into traffic and be killed. Thus when I saw some people trying to round up the emus and herd them into a fenced-in area, I joined in.
While herding the emus, I noticed other animals loose in the area. Were they all escaping from a nearby zoo? A large chimpanzee was climbing in a nearby tree. I had never touched a chimpanzee before; maybe I could go to the one in the tree, coax it down and hold it in my arms. It should be a lovable animal to hold. But I really didn't know anything about the nature of chimpanzees; perhaps the chimpanzee wouldn't like being held and would react violently. I probably shouldn't try it.
When we were finally successful in driving the emus into the fenced area, some small children, only 2-3 years old, joined in with the roundup. The children weren't really helping, but were mainly just having a good time watching the adults do the work. As I watched the final emus being driven in, two little girls, each not more than 3 years old, were standing on each side of me. Some kind of pre-school class of children had probably come out to watch the roundup of the emus. Each of the two girls was holding to my pants leg – one on one side, one on the other – in the area of my knees.
The girl on my right was blonde and I thought she was particularly beautiful. I wondered what she would look like when she was grown up. It occurred to me that I had recently been thinking of having a child myself, and looking at the little girl, I thought of what it would be like if I were the father of such a child. What would it be like watching her grow into a beautiful woman? Since I was attracted to all beautiful women, would I not likewise be attracted to her? At first it seemed that I would, but then I realized actually I wouldn't. Even if she were beautiful, because she was my own daughter, I wouldn't feel the same attraction for her that I had for other women.
But this also made me wonder about taking care of a baby girl. What if I were left alone to care for her? I would have to give the girl baths when she was a baby. That would mean that I would have to wash her private areas. I didn't see any problem with washing her anus. A female anus was the same as a male anus, and I would wash it the same way I washed my own. But I really didn't know how I would wash her vagina. I had never even discussed the subject of washing a vagina with anyone. Of course I had had my fingers in numerous vaginas, and I knew there was quite a lengthy cavity, and it seemed obvious that it would have to be cleaned periodically. But should a man actually stick his finger into a baby's vagina to clean it? It seemed that it would have to be done; otherwise the baby would be left unclean.
I finally concluded that since I was so ignorant on the subject, if I were in such a position, I would simply have to seek advice. I would have to go to a female doctor, someone with whom I could talk, and discuss the matter. I had an image of a strong female doctor named Joanna Diamond (the character played by the actress Amy Aquino in the television series "Picket Fences"). She would be the kind of doctor with whom I could be frank and explain my ignorance on this delicate subject. From someone like her I could obtain the answer.
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