Dream of: 07 October 1996 "Edifying Experience"

Carolina and I were having a disagreement concerning our future. We were living in a small cottage in Columbus, Ohio, and I was ready to leave Columbus and start a new life elsewhere. Carolina however, because she had a job which she liked, didn't want to leave Columbus. Another factor in Carolina's reasoning was her mother Paz, who was also living with us, and who also didn't want to leave Columbus.

The issue had now come to a head as we were arguing about something else. We had planned to go to a dance together today, but now Carolina was telling me she couldn't go because she had to work. I was upset because I felt that she was betraying me by going back on her promise to go to the dance. This in turn seemed relevant to the question of her also wanting to continue to live in Columbus because of her job. In frustration, I finally stormed out of the house, and told Carolina I would just go to the dance by myself.

As I was leaving I noticed that the garage door was slightly open, and that the back door of the house, inside the garage, was also slightly open, so that from the back yard I could slightly see into the kitchen. It occurred to me that this was somewhat dangerous and that I should go tell Carolina to shut the doors. But I thought this was a safe neighborhood and we had never had any problems here. Besides, Paz was with Carolina, and the likelihood of any problems was very slight.

I got in my car and took off. However I seemed to be having a bit of difficulty driving, and at one point I had to back up and turn around. In the process I backed clear off the road and slightly hit a concrete wall which seemed to be around some large structure, such as a power plant. I heard someone holler at me as I sped away. I didn't want to stop and I just hoped whoever hollered didn't get my license plate number.

Again heading down the road, I was still thinking about the open garage door. I thought about how some burglars probably just looked for places like that. In fact, some burglars might even wait around homes until people left them unprotected. I myself should keep that in mind. Although I hoped I would never have to resort to burglary, if it became necessary I was probably capable of doing it.

***

I was sitting at a small table in a restaurant, possibly drinking a cup of coffee. I didn't want to go to the dance by myself. I might instead go to a movie. But the fact was, there was only really one thing I needed to be doing: writing. I knew I was close to actually having a book which I could present to a publisher. But I needed to be working much more on it. The good news was that I finally understood that what I needed to do with my time was to write. I also understood that if I would have a book published, that could be the solution to my problem with Carolina. If a book were published, she might then quit her job, and we could leave Columbus.

The idea of having a book to present to a publisher was invigorating. I thought how it was my goal to sell the book. The idea of selling a book seemed so strange to me. To think that I had actually written something which I might be able to sell was extremely encouraging. This was certainly a test of my vision of myself as a writer. At least, I thought, I would soon be ready to find out what it would be like to submit a book to a publisher. That should prove to be an edifying experience.

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