Dream of: 10 July 1996 "Not Making Logical Sense"

I was with Carolina and another fellow, trying to get to an airport. Carolina and the man were only accompanying me, since it was only I who was going to catch the flight. At first we had been in a car; but now we were walking through a maze of parking garages, corridors, and stairways of office buildings; I wondered if we hadn't abandoned the car too quickly. As we walked through the hall of a large office building, the other two were ahead of me, and when I followed them around a corner, I lost sight of them. I saw a glass door still moving and I thought they must have gone in that direction; but when I reached the door, I looked inside and saw an office with no one in it. I concluded they must have continued on down the hall; but when I walked to the end of the hall, I only found more doors leading to offices. I had completely lost Carolina and the man, and I had no idea where they could have gone. But since they weren't actually going to catch the plane, I decided to just try to find the way myself and worry about them later. I headed off in the direction where I thought the planes were.

***

I was sitting in what appeared to be some kind of waiting area at the airport, still trying to reach my plane. The seats where I was waiting were arranged like the seats of a plane, with rows of two or three seats on each side of a central aisle.

The fellow sitting next to me was an acquaintance who thought of himself as one of my friends, although I had serious reservations about how I felt about him. He was a tall, lanky, dark-haired fellow probably in his early twenties. I recalled something about the fellow which gave me uneasy feelings about him. I recalled that for some reason the fellow had been in the habit of putting chewing gum on the bottom of his shoes. This habit seemed so bizarre to me that it completely grossed me out. What made it worse was that other people also knew about this habit. And even as we were sitting here, a woman sitting in an aisle seat a couple rows back from us called out to the fellow and asked him whether he still put gum on the bottom of his shoes. The woman had spoken good-naturedly, without any sign of sarcasm in her voice. And just as good-naturedly the fellow lifted up one of his shoes to show that there was nothing but the sole on the bottom. In fact, the shoes looked new and in excellent shape. For an instant I thought about taking the piece of gum which I was chewing out of my mouth and sticking it on the bottom of the fellow's shoes. But that seemed just too absurd.

Growing more and more impatient because of all the waiting, I finally stood and began walking back down the aisle. As I did so, I realized I wasn't wearing a shirt. That seemed a little strange for me, almost as strange as the fellow next to whom I had been sitting. And it got even stranger. With the aisle being so crowded with waiting people, I tripped on someone, rolled forward all the way until I was finally standing on my head with my feet up in the air. No one but me seemed to think my behavior was odd, but I was well aware that I wasn't acting normally. However, by the time I finally righted myself and reached the end of the aisle, I was fully dressed and behaving normally.

There, sitting in a chair at the end of the aisle, was Louise (in her mid 20s). She looked beautiful and she seemed to be waiting for me. She looked much as she had looked when I first met her when we had attended law school together. She was clearly glad to see me and I sat down next to her, with her on my left. Our faces immediately came together in a passionate kiss. It had been so long since I had kissed her, I had forgotten what it was like. But now I remembered that she was probably the best kisser I had ever had, even better than Carolina. The most noticeable aspect of her kiss was how wide she opened her mouth. Her mouth seemed to go all around my lips and I couldn't open them as wide as hers. And when I stuck my tongue in her mouth, I pushed it in as far as I could, but I still couldn't touch the back of her mouth. I would have thought that a mouth which seemed so big might have turned me off; but instead I felt enraptured, and I moaned involuntarily from the pleasure. Louise also moaned, as if to reciprocate.

I immediately wanted to make love with Louise. A hotel was right here in the airport; I decided to get a room, even if it were just for 2 hours. I stood up, took Louise's hand, and hurried toward the door of the hotel, which I saw nearby. As soon as we entered we were met by a young man wearing what appeared to be a gray bellboy's suit; I told him I wanted a room for just a couple hours. To myself I thought the room would probably cost around $75. The hotel man didn't seem to understand what I was saying, that I would only want a room for a couple hours. He said that that didn't make "logical sense." I quickly responded that I understood that it didn't make logical sense, but that sometimes some things made sense without being logical.

***

I was alone in a hotel room. My mind was fuzzy; it seemed that Louise had been in the room with me, that we had made love, and that she had left. But it was all so hazy, I couldn't be sure. I just knew I still needed to get ready because my flight would soon be leaving.

I also knew when I left, I would be gone for a long time, and I thought I should somehow get word to Louise that I wouldn't see her for a long time. It seemed that it had already been a long time prior to this that I hadn't seen Louise. Since Louise was also a lawyer, I used to see her often in the courts when I was still actively practicing law, but I hadn't been in the courts for quite a while, and so hadn't seen Louise.

I wondered why we had stopped staying in touch. I seemed to recall that Louise and I used to talk and had remained friends even after Carolina and I had married. But I remembered that one day Carolina and I had been walking together down a city street, and Louise had seen us. For some reason, Louise had become upset and had walked right past us without speaking. And she hadn't spoken to me since. But I still wanted to let her know I would be leaving, just in case she might wonder what had happened to me.

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