Dream of: 16 June 1996 (2) "Collage"

I was sitting at the right end (from my perspective) of a long narrow table which stretched off to my left. Sitting along the table to my left were four or five other people, including the radio talk show celebrity, Howard Stern. I and the others were all regular members of Howard's radio show, and even now we were in the middle of a radio broadcast.

One of the other members sitting there was a woman named Donna. She was probably in her early thirties and had dark brown hair which fell below her shoulders. She had an attractive, serious face and a good figure. She seemed to be wearing a long dark brown dress.

While the broadcast was going on, Howard asked me a question, and I gave him a simple one word answer. Seeing I obviously wasn't going to say anything else, Donna spoke up and told me Howard was giving me a chance to say something during the show. Obviously Donna wanted me to say more, but Donna didn't realize I really had no desire to say anything else. I did enjoy being on the show, but I felt comfortable just sitting there and listening without saying anything. I also felt quite secure in my position. I felt that I was needed on the show, and that even if I didn't say anything, Howard wouldn't try to get rid of me. However, it did appear that Howard would like for me to say more, and that he was trying to give me every opportunity to do so. So I paid attention to what was being said, thinking I might actually take some part.

As the conversation continued, the subject of collages came up. This was something which interested me. Although I hadn't made any collages lately, I had made many collages in the past. I had stored all my collages away at different places, and I wasn't even sure where they all were.

I also remembered Donna and I had made a collage together once long ago. I spoke up and mentioned the collage to Donna and she seemed to vaguely remember. I recalled the background of the collage had been a blow-up of a white feather. The main picture in the foreground had been a cut-out of the painting of the Nude Maja by the painter Goya. I could still visualize that part of the collage quite vividly. I wondered what had happened to the collage. I thought it might be stored upstairs and I decided I would go up to look for it.

When I went upstairs, I found myself on the second floor of the Gallia County Farmhouse. I had a lot of things stored in the upstairs of the Farmhouse, and I definitely thought the collage might be up there. I also thought I had stored there in the upstairs my cardboard box of collage pictures – hundreds of pictures which I had cut out and had ready for collages. I wanted to find them too, because I thought I now needed to create a new collage. If I were going to do one, doing it now (and not putting it off) would be best.

As I thought of all the collage pictures I had cut for collages, another thought came to mind. It seemed I had also cut out a bunch of coupons to use when I bought groceries. In fact it seemed I had calculated I had been able to save 25% of my food bill by using coupons. I had taken this to such a point that I had actually saved up enough money by using coupons that I was going to be able to take a trip, probably to Europe, just with the money which I had saved.

When I walked into the back room of the upstairs, I could see myself in a mirror in the room. I noticed how slender and supple my body looked. In fact, it occurred to me that my body very much resembled that of Howard Stern's. I was also wearing some outrageous clothes – perhaps some black leather pants – clothes such as Howard might wear. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I began making some wild outlandish faces at myself, accompanying the faces by bizarre comical gestures. I felt completely alone there in the upstairs, and I thought I could make whatever kind of faces and gestures I wanted to. But I wondered what other people would think if they were to see how crazy I acted when I was alone like that.

I finally gave up on finding the collage or my collage pictures, and I went back downstairs. There I found Howard and Donna now sitting alone together, side by side, in the kitchen. Although Howard didn't say anything when he saw me, I had the definite impression that he didn't want me there, and that he wanted to be alone with Donna. That seemed strange to me because I knew Howard was a married man, and I didn't think he ever cheated on his wife.

Donna didn't seem interested in Howard, but she wasn't trying to get away from him either. She seemed in control of the situation, and I didn't think anything would happen between her and Howard. Nevertheless I looked at Howard and asked, "Are you putting the moves on Donna?"

Howard gave me a funny look, as if to say that was exactly what he was doing, and that I should leave. I decided to do just that.

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