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Dream of: 22 March 1996 "Dirty Water"

I had recently enrolled in college and was looking for a place to live near campus. Only after walking around the streets close to the school for a while did I realize I was in San Antonio, Texas, and that the college was St. Mary's. I myself was surprised to think I would be going to St. Mary's since I knew practically nothing about the college and I had never considered attending it. St. Mary's seemed like such a small insignificant college. In fact I could only see one building on the campus – a medium-sized brick structure. I wondered what my father would think when he learned I would be attending St. Mary's.

But at the moment my attention was more focused on the area surrounding the campus, the area where I hoped to find a place to live. I could quickly tell that I was going to have problems. I was hoping to find a house instead of an apartment, but I could see that most houses had been torn down and replaced with large apartment complexes. I did see a row of two-story frame houses along one street, but they were all abandoned and even appeared to be burnt out.

***

I was in a classroom at St. Mary's. However in my mind I was sill looking for a place to live, and I thought I would accomplish that task simply by sitting at a chair in the classroom. But it appeared that all the chairs were already occupied by students and I didn't see any place to sit. Finally I noticed Melanie sitting at the end of a row, and I saw an empty chair beside her out in the aisle. I thought she might make enough room for me if I pulled the chair up next to her. I placed the chair beside her and she made space for me so I could sit next to her.

Melanie and I hadn't sat long, before I realized she and I, and the person on the other side of her, were actually sitting in a white bathtub – the large old-fashioned type. Although the tub was filled with water, we were still dressed. I wasn't uncomfortable, but I thought it would be nicer if Melanie and I were alone in the tub. We might even be able to stretch and lie down next to each other in the tub. As if in response to my desire, the other person climbed out of the tub, leaving Melanie and me alone.

Melanie and I quickly stretched out, lying right next to each other. As we did so I was somewhat overcome by the feeling of being so close to her. I had never been romantically drawn to Melanie; but now I suddenly felt engulfed by such feelings. Wondering if she would mind if I put my arm around her, I slipped it around her shoulder. She didn't protest; in fact she seemed to pull closer to me, and I began to think she also wanted to be near me. She was lying next to me on my right, turned toward me. After she slung her right leg over top me, I thought I felt her hand between my legs. But apparently she was just getting comfortable and she didn't do anything. I thought about putting my other arm around her and pulling her over on top of me.

As I lay here, I thought about how unexpected this was – that I would suddenly feel so strongly for Melanie. But at the same time it made sense. We had known each other for many years. And we were actually much more compatible with each other than we were to our respective spouses. Our ages were also much closer to each other than to our spouses. I was much older than Carolina, and Melanie was much younger than her husband Wheat. But Melanie and I were rather close in age. It now suddenly made sense for us to be together, and I thought Melanie felt the same way.

***

I was still in the same tub, but Melanie was no longer with me; instead Carolina was with me in the tub. We were sitting up, both with our clothes on, splashing around. We were both happy and as usual with Carolina, I was having a good time.

One side of the room was covered with windows. As I looked over toward the windows, I noticed a woman walking by in front of them. She was slender and probably in her 30s. She was looking at us, but I couldn't see her face. Behind her the sun was streaming though the window and blinding my vision. The woman's silhouette stood in front of the window so her face was all black, like the moon eclipsing the sun. All I could see was a black area where her face should have been, with light flowing all around it.

I thought the woman might like to come and join Carolina and me in the tub. Carolina didn't seem to mind, and she even called to the woman to ask her if she would like to get in the tub with us. I was concerned that the water in the tub might be dirty, but I couldn't really tell if it was or not.

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