Dream of: 12 March 1996 "The Feel Of Lucidity"

I was in a strange city, where I had found a room in which to live in a college dormitory. I had left the room and was walking outside on the streets, when I noticed a pile of junk in a nearby alley. I walked toward the pile and when I reached it, saw a ragged man going through the pile, trying to find something of value. I thought to myself how I had never actually picked through junk that way, but how I had often thought I would enjoy doing so.

So I began looking around. It didn't take long before I found two things which I decided to keep. One was a six-pack of empty brown long-neck beer bottles which I thought were good for a refund. I thought I also had a similar six pack of empty bottles back in my dorm room – I could take all the bottles in at the same time.

The other thing was a small piece of ordinary brown carpet. I hesitated about actually taking the carpet, but then decided I would, and I rolled it up into a small roll.

My attention was diverted to a spot farther down the alley where nine or ten other homeless-looking people were converging on a fresh pile of junk which appeared to have just been put out. I set my bottles and carpet down on the ground where I could come back and retrieve them, and then hurried off to the other site. I was beginning to realize this alley was behind a Salvation Army; apparently every morning junk was placed out in the alley for people to gather. If I did this regularly, I would have to come early to try to beat the others, because obviously there was a lot of competition for all this junk.

When I reached the other pile I did see some things which looked salvageable, but they were too big for me to carry: a small desk and a nice old dinette set. If I didn't quickly claim them, someone else would – and that was exactly what happened. But that didn't bother me because I couldn't have taken them anyway.

Suddenly people were running back toward the first stack – apparently some new things had been set out there. I also turned and started to hurry back, now concerned someone might take my beer bottles and my piece of carpet. I didn't want to run, because it seemed a bit ridiculous for me to be running and trying to beat other people to a pile of junk, but my concern that my things would be taken so overwhelmed me that I broke into a run to get to my stuff. However, this was really the last straw. What level had I sunk to that I would be trying to outrun people to retrieve a little junk?

When I reached the spot where I had left my new-found possessions, instead of my things, I found piles and piles of clothes and blankets. It looked as if the clothes and blankets had just been thrown out there and as if my things were underneath them. As I began groping down through the cloth, I saw other people also scrounging through the pile. Several people even stood up with blankets over their heads. It was a bit macabre; I just wanted to get my things and get out of there. Finally I had success: I felt something hard under the cloth and I was able to pull out my beer bottles. I then found my carpet and I climbed out of the cloth pile with it.

I was ready to leave, but just as I started to walk away, I was surprised to see my father walking toward me. I felt sheepish and I hoped he wouldn't realize what I had been doing – searching through junk.

He walked up to me with a serious look on his face. Only now did I realize I was supposed to have met him here in this city and I had forgotten about him. He quickly told me he was staying in a hotel across the street. He also mentioned he had received a call from from my ex-wife Louise. I now recalled I had come to this city for a seminar, probably a legal seminar; Louise, being an attorney herself, had also probably come for the seminar.

My father said he had told Louise I had smoked a lot of marijuana the previous night. I was surprised he would have said something like that and I couldn't understand why – I hadn't smoked pot in many years, much less on the previous night. I didn't want Louise to think I was smoking pot when I hadn't.

I awoke from sleep, looked around and realized I was in the dormitory room which I had rented. I looked at my watch; it was already 9 a.m. I needed to hurry because I was supposed to meet my father at his hotel room. Already dressed – apparently I had slept in my clothes – I headed for the door. Glancing at myself in a mirror, I noticed I hadn't even combed my hair; but I didn't want to waste any more time and I opened the door.

The door, I realized, wasn't even shut, but slightly open. Alarmed, I looked back around the room. Suddenly I saw it – the portable computer which I had brought with me was missing! A stack of computer disks which had looked like compact disks were also gone. I groaned. I had only one main concern. All my dreams were recorded on the computer; I had also backed them up on the compact disks. I would have to rush down to the front desk and report that I had been robbed.

Of course I realized my report would do little good; nothing would probably ever be recovered. I began to assess the damage. I also had other backups of my dreams besides the ones which had been there in the room. So I would only lose dreams written in the last 20-30 days which I hadn't yet backed up.

Maybe I could even retrieve those. I had sent many of my dreams over the Internet on the alt.dreams newsgroup, and quite a few people had downloaded and read my dreams. Jacobs (JJ) particularly came to mind. If I could contact him, he might be able to send the dreams which he had down-loaded back to me. I might end up losing much less than I had feared.

I again awoke from sleep, still in the dormitory room. I looked around and saw my computer and compact disks sitting on the floor by the wall. Suddenly I realized – I had been dreaming! My computer and disks hadn't been stolen after all; it had all been a dream. I felt an enormous sense of relief. I stood up, still realizing I needed to go see my father. But I didn't feel quite as rushed this time, and I thought I would even take time to brush my hair.

I am now walking down the middle of a city street, heading toward the building where my father is staying. I am lucid, aware I am dreaming, and I feel as if I have control over what I am doing. However this fact does not seem particularly unusual or of great importance to me; it seems perfectly natural for me to be lucid, as if it is a common occurrence with me.

What does concern me is a question regarding the writing of my dreams. I know that before this dream, I awoke from a previous dream, went back to sleep, and then began having this dream. However, I also know that this is actually a continuation of the previous dream and that I am still basically in the same setting. The question facing me is whether when I write this dream I should include this dream as part of the first dream, or whether I should write it as a completely separate dream.

I know I have faced this problem before; I have previously decided that anytime I awoke from a dream, and then had another dream, even if they seemed connected, I would write them as two separate dreams. However, I now wonder whether this is a good rule, and whether it would actually be advisable to write this all as one dream.

Mixed in with these thoughts are other thoughts about the people who read my dreams, and again I think about JJ. Besides deciding how to write this dream, I am also thinking I want to say something to JJ. I know that I have read many of JJ's dreams, and that after reading them I have concluded some of JJ's problems are related to his Christian upbringing and his continuing belief in the Christian religion. Although I know I am familiar with the Bible, I am certainly not a Christian, and I have difficulty seeing how anyone believing in Christianity could develop spiritually. In particular I think JJ's efforts to develop his dream powers are stymied by his Christian beliefs.

And now I decide to give JJ a demonstration of what I am talking about by showing him how dream powers can be wielded. As part of my demonstration, I decide I will pretend I am someone in the Bible, say Mark of the second gospel. Or the name Philip comes to mind, although I cannot remember exactly who Philip was. The basic idea is to get JJ's attention, to startle him by putting myself in the place of a Bible personage. I want him to see the difference between something he has read in a book, and the actual present power he could feel.

Still lucid, now imagining myself as the Bible personage, I am able at will to turn the street below me into a river. Without delay, water begins rushing around me, traveling in the same direction in which I am going. It rises quickly, lifting me to the surface, rushing faster and faster down the street. Although it is now rushing and foaming like mountain rapids, I ride over the surface, feeling as if I am in complete control. And now suddenly the answer to my question also comes to me: I will write the two dreams as one. Happy that I have found the answer, and elated by the feel of lucidity, I exuberantly call out, "This is for you, JJ."

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