Dream of: 16 December 1995 (2) "Image Of God"
Carolina and I were in my red BMW which I was driving up a mountain road. Because the road was so narrow and had such sharp turns, I was having an extremely difficult time controlling the car and staying in my lane. Several times large trucks descending the mountain barely missed scraping against my side. Although I didn't want to damage the car, I finally decided it didn't matter if I scratched the side of the car on the rocks jutting out of the mountain. At this point my most pressing concern was simply to reach the top of the mountain; I could live with a few scratches.
We toiled upward until we finally reached the mountain's peak, where an idyllic village lay spread over the flat surface of the mountain top. Relieved to have attained the summit, I parked the car in front of a large building. Carolina and I stepped out of the car and walked inside.
The rectangular room we entered was filled with people sitting in bleachers, listening to a man standing behind a pulpit in front of them. After Carolina and I took a seat, we quickly realized we were in a Jewish temple. Apparently everyone in the room was Jewish. Since I wasn't interested in listening to a Jewish sermon, I saw no reason to stay. After I signaled to Carolina my desire to leave, we both stood and walked out.
Outside, next to the temple, lay a small park, apparently the central plaza of the town. Carolina and I walked into the plaza and seated ourselves on a bench, Carolina on my right.
We hadn't been sitting long before an intense feeling of well-being flooded me – I felt so good about my life and what I was doing. This feeling was so rare, I was surprised how it had swept over me. Something of which I had been unsure was now clear to me. Carolina and I were traveling around from place to place. I had planned to embark on this extended journey for quite a while, but I had had doubts of whether I would find any fulfillment in simply traveling. I knew many people would disapprove of my not working at some productive job, and would disdain my laid-back attitude. Such concerns had caused me to doubt whether this journey was really what I should be doing. But now I was sure: this was exactly how I should be occupying my time. I was finding an unequaled fulfillment here. And I especially loved having Carolina with me. Any doubts I might have had about her accompanying me on this trip had vanished. She was a wonderful companion and I wanted her to continue the trip with me.
How serene and beautiful was this small park up in the mountain. I especially enjoyed watching the people, mostly peasants, strolling around the park. But as I continued observing, four strong-looking young black men walked across the park in front of us. Only after the men had passed did it strike me how out of place the men had appeared. I quickly deduced these weren't ordinary men. They had been sent as a symbol of something for me. But I couldn't fathom the meaning of the symbol.
I continued to glance around the perimeter of the small park. The black men had forced me to realize there was something unusual about this place, but I couldn't quite understand what it was. However it seemed clear the normal rules of reality were somewhat adjusted here. For example, I felt as if I had more power to manipulate my surroundings than I normally possessed.
Of the several buildings surrounding the plaza, one on my left particularly caught my attention. On top of the front facade, about ten meters high, was a large statue which itself was about three meters tall. As I stared at the statue, if I concentrated, by using my imagination, I could actually change the appearance of the statue. Just by using my mind, I was able to alter the shape of the statue into several different forms. I had previously believed I possessed this power and I had been somewhat successful in using it before. But nothing I had felt in the past compared with the strength I now had. I could actually look at the statue and will it to change. Never had I been in such full control of this power.
I manipulated the statue into several forms, the last of which was a stylized lion about three meters long. The lion was standing on its rear legs, but had its front legs stretched out on the ground in front of it so its chest touched the ground. The lion's extremely long tongue curled out of its mouth, creating an intensely mesmerizing vision.
I decided I would change the statue into one last figure – this time I would change the statue into a figure of God. But now my power failed me. As I tried, I realized I couldn't accomplish the imponderable task: I had no image of what God looked like. It was as if my mental imagination had a hole in it. As I searched for the image within me, I couldn't find anything. Yet curiously I wasn't disturbed by being unable to discover the image, for that was how it seemed it should be – at least for now. It did however seem something was missing here – something which I needed to work on finding.
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