Dream of: 07 December 1995 "Unexpected Love"

I had been playing with words in my mind, trying to think of as many words as possible which contained a combination of the sounds "f" and "l." The repetition of one word after another had an hypnotic effect, until I realized I had actually hypnotized myself. I was aware I was lying on my back with my eyes closed, but I had no idea where I was. I was afraid if I opened my eyes I would break my trance. Nevertheless I was so curious (and a little concerned), I opened my eyes for just a fraction of a second. Seeing I was lying in my own bed, I felt safe and slipped back into my trance. I thought it was important to be in a safe place when entering a hypnotic trance, because while I was in the trance I would have no control of my body. Back in the trance again, I now felt secure, and thought I could proceed.

In my trance I was sitting up straight in a meditative position. Although my eyes were closed, I could see around me. But what I couldn't see was four or five other people who I knew were also sitting around me in meditative poses. However, although I couldn't see them, I spoke to them and knew they could hear me. I also knew I was leading them on their mediations. I was using a technique I had used before whereby I would talk to the other persons and hypnotize them. Once they were hypnotized I would lead them through the hypnotic landscape.

But this time was different because I was also hypnotized and in the trance with the others whom I was leading. In my landscape, I was sitting on round gray boulder about a meter in diameter. Similar boulders were scattered all around me, and although I couldn't see the other people I was guiding, as I talked to them, I thought they were also sitting on similar boulders. However I didn't know if the quality of their visions was as intense as mine. I knew the depth of the hypnotic trance could be gauged by the vividness of the vision. My vision was extremely acute, but I also realized it was my vision, and my vision might not be the same for the others.

Nevertheless, since I was leading the others, I spoke of the boulders, having them visualize sitting on the boulders. I perceived that some of the others were able to visualize the boulders and visualize themselves sitting on them, but that they were having a difficult time maintaining their balances. I didn't think the others should concentrate on maintaining their balance, and that it would be all right for them to fall over, just as long as they stayed seated on the boulder.

To facilitate this, I told them to imagine that the boulder was a large multi-colored beach ball which they were holding by a strap with their hands between their legs. I told them that we were no longer on land but were in the water of an ocean, not far from land. As I myself visualized the scene, I actually felt the undulations of the waves, one after the other, as I rhythmically bobbed up and down. I realized that the steady breaking of the waves was a good hypnotic aid, and that I had unwittingly placed us in a place which would assist in deepening the hypnotic trance.

I now also found it was more difficult to maintain my balance and keep sitting upright as the waves passed under me. But this was part of what I wanted to show the others. I wanted them to see that it wasn't necessary to maintain balance, and that here in the water, as long as they held onto the ball and kept sitting on it, they could let their bodies fall over. As if to prove my point, I tipped over on my ball, went under the water, and found myself sitting submerged upside down. I wanted the others also to see that I wouldn't drown under the water, that since we were in a trance, it was perfectly possible to be submerged in this way.

However, I momentarily found myself disengaged from the others as I found myself in a completely different scene. I was sitting on a sea frozen over with ice and covered with snow. All I could see was white in every direction. A couple other people were doing something near me, but I couldn't see them clearly. I thought they must be Eskimos and also thought they might be related to me. In fact, I thought I must be somewhere like Antarctica.

Next to me in the snow I saw a hole which would be big enough for me to crawl into. I recalled how I had wondered before how it was possible for Eskimos to live in igloos. It seemed inconsistent to me that a person could find warmth in a house made of ice. Now seemed a good time for me to test this theory. I crawled down into the hole and curled up into a ball. To my surprise, I found it quite comfortable, and I realized I could probably survive a long time in the hole. Having satisfied my curiosity, I started climbing back out. I noticed some ants on the wall of the hole as I exited, and tried to see if they were alive or frozen, but I couldn't tell.

As I climbed out, I began to recall the others whom I was leading in the hypnotic trance. Now I found myself climbing up the side of a hill made of large gray boulders. I was talking to the others, telling them to also continue climbing. The climb was quite strenuous, but I was trying to make an important point to them. I wanted them to see that it was important to exert oneself at times while in the hypnotic state. It was essential to build up ones strength, and although the climb through the boulders was indeed laborious, it wasn't only worth the effort, it was necessary.

I knew when we reached the top we would be nearing the end of the trance. I told everyone to imagine that they were coming into an attic. I myself entered a tidy, clean attic made of light brown wood. I felt comfortable and sat down. Now I knew was the time for the conclusion of the trance. I thought it was important that the trance would have a meaningful ending. Once I had talked everyone into their respective attics, and had them seated, I told them that they were to concentrate on love, until they were able to focus in on a specific person they loved.

I also began concentrating, and it didn't take long until I began thinking of my mother. At the same time I actually began to feel that I loved her. I could see her face. I realized I didn't often think of how much I actually loved my mother, and that indeed I hadn't even been sure I really did love her. But now I seemed filled with an unexpected love for her. I knew that the trance had been a success and that it had led me to something I had been unaware I had.

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