Dream of: 13 November 1995 (2) "Ethics 102"

Three women who had been unsuccessful at having children had sought help at a school which I was attending, and I had agreed to volunteer my services to help them have children by having sex with them. All three were attractive and I was looking forward to the coital act with them. I was particularly looking forward to being with one of the women whom I knew. She was an attractive brunette with whom I had gone to junior high and high school, but whom I hadn't seen since the early 1970s. I knew who she was, but I couldn't remember her name.

As I sat in the same classroom with the women – a classroom shared with perhaps 30 other people – my conscience began to gnaw at me. I reflected that I hadn't been completely honest in volunteering my services, for I hadn't told everything when I had agreed to father the children. The truth of the matter was that I couldn't have children because I had had a vasectomy many years ago.

I had tried to push my compunction out of my mind, thinking I would never actually be called upon to render services. But the time came, and when called, I rose from my seat and walked into a back room with brunette. I wanted to say something, but before I knew it, we were naked and I was on top of her, making love to her. She was even better than I had hoped or anticipated, and I quickly forgot my qualms.

However, before we could actually finish, we were interrupted, had to dress and go back out into the classroom. I knew we would return shortly to consummate the matter. But once we were dressed, I spoke to the woman briefly, and was surprised to find out she wasn't married. I had originally thought she was married but that her husband couldn't have children and that was why she was using me. If she weren't married, that changed things in my mind, because I felt as if I really liked her.

Now I began to feel bad. What had I done? I had had sex with the woman under false pretenses. Was this not the same as rape? I was sure that it was, and that if it were ever discovered what I had done, I could be convicted of rape. And it probably wouldn't be hard to figure out. After a few months, when it became evident she wasn't pregnant, questions would be asked.

I was so distraught I decided I wouldn't have sex with the other two women, nor would I have sex again with the brunette. I stood up in the classroom and announced I couldn't have sex with the other two women. I could see their faces and the disappointment written on them. Looking around the room, I realized part of the reason: I was definitely the best looking male there. They clearly wanted to see my genes passed on to their offspring.

But then, to my surprise, I saw a young fellow stand up from the back row, from a seat which I hadn't been able to see before. He walked up and volunteered to go with the two women. And he was handsome indeed. He was probably about 19, tall, muscular and had long blond hair. He could have been the younger brother of Fabio. He was definitely much more handsome than I. But I wasn't in the least bit jealous. I was just happy to see that he was going to take my place.

However he was only taking my place with the two women with whom I hadn't been yet. I was still supposed to finish up with the brunette. When the time rolled around for the brunette and me to return to the room, we both stood and walked back there. As she began to undress I quickly told her that I couldn't continue having sex with her because I was impotent. But she saw that that was an obvious lie; after all we had just had sex a short while before. I continued talking, trying to think of another lie. The worst part of all was that I really cared for her. Well, actually that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was thinking that I could go to prison.

Finally, as she sat in a chair next to me. I told her I was going to tell her something, and I hoped she wouldn't hate me when I told her. I had her undivided attention and she looked straight at me. I then blurted out that I couldn't have children because I had had a vasectomy. She looked puzzled, and asked me when I had had the vasectomy. From the way she asked, I could tell she thought I was saying that I had had the vasectomy in the interim since we had had sex. But then I explained that I had had the vasectomy many years ago.

Her face filled with rage. She rose and stormed out of the room as I followed her. She wouldn't listen to anything I said.

***

I was driving a car down Gallia Street in Portsmouth. To my right looming over me were the two largest churches in Portsmouth. I was driving in the direction of Portsmouth High School, about two blocks away. The brunette was sitting next to me on my right. She had made up enough with me to ride in the same car with me. But I wanted more. I wanted to hitch up with her. I bent over toward her and kissed her on the cheek. She didn't stop me. I turned to her and said, "Why don't we try to make it together?"

I was thinking we could get married. If she really wanted children, perhaps we could adopt some. The only thing I was unsure of was whether she would be willing to leave Portsmouth. I knew I had no intention to stay there, and in fact I planned to live in Europe. If she would be willing to go to Europe with me, we might be able to have a good life together.

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