Dream of: 06 October 1995 "Repression"

I had returned to Carolina after having been away for a couple weeks. I was happy to see her and I thought we would immediately have sex. But as I pulled her inordinately large breast from her blouse, she indicated that she didn't want to have sex right now. I retaliated by biting her nipple particularly hard as she pulled away from me. She stood, said she would be back in a few minutes, and left.

While I had been fondling Carolina, I had noticed a woman who was my grandmother sitting on the couch right next to Carolina. The woman appeared to be only about 40 years old. What was striking was that the woman was completely naked and she was extremely obese, probably weighing about three hundred pounds.

However, as I looked at the woman, even though she was my grandmother, and even though she was as fat as a cow, I felt myself becoming slightly aroused. I wondered what it would be like to simply rub up against her. She was facing me and it seemed as if she were inviting me to come to her. Finally I slowly moved toward her and rubbed up against her. I could feel her jelly-like flesh all around me, and it seemed as if I were also naked. I was surprised at just how good she felt, and I began wondering what it would be like to actually have sex with her.

But as I considered actually inserting my penis into her, I became so aroused by her flesh all around me, I felt as if I were going to ejaculate. Before I could stop it, the feeling became so intense I could feel the ejaculation beginning. But as soon as I started to ejaculate, I seemed to snap. What was I doing? This was my own grandmother! How could I be doing this with my own grandmother? I exerted my will, trying to stop the ejaculation. With difficulty I began repressing the ejaculation. I couldn't completely stop the feeling of orgasm, which was intensely pleasurable, but I thought I had stopped the release of fluids. It seemed that a small amount of fluid had probably escaped, but I had succeeded in stopping most of it.

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