Dream of: 26 September 1995 "Friends"

I had recently moved to New York City where I was living in an apartment with Buckner (probably in his early 20s). He was thin, had black hair, and was in good physical condition. As he and I sat together in the apartment, he asked me if I would like to go to a party and meet some friends of his; I thought I would like that. Buckner said I would first need to buy a new sports jacket, such as the navy blue one he was wearing. Although I was wearing a sports jacket, it was a rather dull color and clearly out of fashion.

I left to look for a jacket and began walking the streets of New York. It was already 3 o'clock and the party was supposed to start at five. I was beginning to have doubts about whether I really wanted to go since I wasn't in a particularly sociable mood. However I decided I would go, and I began looking for a bus which I could take. I knew the bus I wanted was No. 1. I then recalled I had just passed a group of people waiting for a bus, and I thought I should go back there and wait for bus No. 1.

***

I was at the party, talking with and observing different people. The gathering was small; only eight or nine people were present. It occurred to me how similar the setting was to the television series "Friends." Two women in the group treated me particularly well. I thought it might be nice for me to meet a group of friends like this and become one of them.

As we all sat talking, one woman, as if making a confession, announced to everyone that she had once taken an hallucinogenic drug. As I listened to her, I began to realize these people weren't very experienced. I didn't say anything, but I reflected how I had taken hallucinogens many times.

I also thought about how involved I was with my dreams, and how these people probably had little cognizance of their dreams. I thought how unusual it was that my occupation in life was writing dreams, and how difficult it would be for these people to understand that. Nevertheless, I liked everyone there, and I decided I wasn't going to belittle them in any way because they were inexperienced. I would try my best to get along with them.

***

As Carolina and I walked down a street in New York City, I told her we should talk about a divorce, even though I didn't particularly want to broach the subject at the moment. She was receptive to what I had to say, and we discussed the possibility that we might get a divorce. I asked her if she wanted me to draw up the divorce petition for her to look at, and she told me to go ahead.

She told me she had been expecting this anyway. She said she had recently gone into my dreams on the computer, had done a word search for the word "divorce", and had pulled up all the dreams which had contained that word. From reading the dreams she had concluded I clearly wanted a divorce from her. I was surprised to hear what she had done. I wasn't even sure what I had dreamed concerning divorce, and I wondered what those dreams would say, but I knew what Carolina was saying was probably true.

It was rather chilly out and Carolina was wearing a long coat. She looked very pretty. We were headed to our apartment, where we lived together. Although we were only a few blocks away, she asked me if she could take a cab. I didn't think she needed a cab for such a short distance, but she indicated she was going to spend her own money for the cab. She now had a job and so she had her own money. I knew if we got a divorce she would now be able to fend for herself. She stopped and began trying to hail a cab, but none was in sight.

I continued walking along, until she hollered for me to wait and not just leave her here. She caught up with me and we talked some more. I pointed to a store across the street and said one of the "friends" whom I had visited earlier was a woman who was a lawyer in that store. I told Carolina that I was going to meet the woman at 5 o'clock and that the woman was going to help me draw up the divorce papers. I told Carolina all this, wondering if it would make her jealous to know I was going to see another woman, especially if Carolina knew the woman was a lawyer. Carolina seemed to take it in stride. I thought she might be jealous, but she didn't say anything.

I felt terrible about the idea of getting a divorce and leaving Carolina. However she was taking it without any complaint. I regretted we were getting a divorce. We would have to split up all our property. What would we do about Picasso?

I told Carolina how hard it had been for me to tell her about having been married to Louise when I had first met her (Carolina). Now it would be even more unpleasant for me to have to tell any new woman whom I might meet that I had been divorced twice. I told Carolina she would have the same problem because she had previously been married to someone named Roy for a short time. Now Carolina would have to tell anyone new about both me and Roy.

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