Dream of: 05 June 1995 "Poor Reflection"

I was standing in the back of Portsmouth High School's auditorium, which was filled with people. Weinstein walked onto the stage, stood behind the podium and began giving a speech. In the speech Weinstein described how he had changed from a man to a woman.

Weinstein (about 30 years old) seemed in a happy mood. He commented on his new hair-do, saying how good it felt. His hair was frizzed out all over in a woman's style and to me looked a bit preposterous. In fact, the whole idea of his turning into a woman seemed unreal to me. I tried to listen to what he had to say, mainly because I wanted to know if he had had his penis cut off. I had heard rumors that he had, but I wasn't yet sure. I walked across the back of the auditorium, trying to get a better view. I wanted to get to a spot where Weinstein could see me. I was wearing a white tee shirt with some writing on the front. I thought to myself it was clear I at least was a man.

***

I was at the 29th Street House, sitting in the front room, when Weinstein's older brother, Paul, showed up at the front door. He looked as if he were about 30 years old, and he looked a lot like Weinstein used to look. He explained to me that he had come into town for a visit, but that he no longer knew anyone here, so he had come to see me. He had wanted to see Weinstein, but after the speech at the auditorium, Weinstein had gone to a radio station to give an interview.

I invited Paul in and told him I also wanted to see Weinstein, but I had been unable to get together with him after the speech. I now hoped I would be able to see him later in the evening. Paul said the radio interview was taking place at 10:30 p.m. I was uncertain whether it would begin or end at that time; but since it was only 9 p.m., I thought we would have time to catch Weinstein anyway.

I picked up the phone and called the radio station. I thought Weinstein was giving an interview about his sex change, although I was still uncertain whether he had actually had his penis cut off. Nevertheless his sex change was apparently big news in Portsmouth. A woman came on the phone; I asked her if Weinstein was there. I had to repeat his name several times, but she simply didn't seem to understand what I was talking about; I finally had to hang up.

I decided to get dressed. I put on a blue dress shirt and stepped out onto the front porch as I buttoned it up. It even seemed as if I had another blue dress shirt under the one I was putting on. I walked back inside and asked my mother, who was standing in the front room, if I could use her car tonight. When she saw Paul, I told her I was going over to the Weinsteins' house. She said my going there would be fine as long as Paul's father was home. I didn't mention Paul's father was out of town.

I thought Anderson would also be with Weinstein. Since I hadn't seen Anderson in a long time, I was also looking forward to seeing him.

I also thought when Paul and I left, we would stop by Walls' house and see if we could buy some marijuana. I might pay as much as $50 for some pot. If Walls weren't home, we could go by Lane's to see if he had any.

However, I wondered whether buying pot was a good idea. I also wondered about what kind of person I had turned into over the years, and I thought about the people with whom I had associated in high school. Weinstein had turned into a woman. Buckner and Walls were both alcoholics. And Tindall hadn't amounted to anything; what a poor reflection.

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