01 May 1995

I used to use a lot of drugs, I feel beter when I don't use drugs, morrison said thanks, Louise said hi to patricia because she did not see me at first, three of us left place, guy said he wished he had stayed home and dated other girl, knew girl he had been with inside was very pretty, I had once dated or waned to date girl, I drink alcohol, I drank some alcohol tonight, I knew I had not used any rugs in a long time, "demenor", your demeanor indicates you are using drus, he siad I fell better when I use drugs, I said you've got a good point then told him I feel better when ii did not use dgurs, iw as surpriesed myself by what I was saying, I stoppped him once for my frined to speak but he couldn't muster the courage so fellow walked on, I stopped him again as he was about to enter building, seemed like he might be from england. it was difficult to pinpoint why I felt better, but I knew I did, we had seen th fellow inside and thought he was acting obnoxious, now he was going back inside, I told him he looked as if he were using drugs, he was tall over six foot, slender, in his late twenties, realized I was somewhat hypocritical when I said I still used alcohol, Louise looked as if she were in her early thirties, I felt innocent, it was a pure feeling of innocence, seemed as if I had not used any drugs in eight or nine months, morrisoin seemed proud of me, choked me up a little, fellow seemed skeptical, felt strange testifying like that, but it did not feel bad,

 

kim mattox, hearing at five oclock, was only five, had time to take a bath, was thinking I shoulid have had an affidavit, did not know if I still had time to have one faxed, needed to show need for car, why had she not been making payments, in large room as if a seminar, attorney came up to me with offer for a deal, appeared he did not want to go to hearing either, siad she must have prrof that she had drivers license as well as proof of insurance, I sdaid I was going to ask judge to condition keeping car on making payment under mod which I had filed, earlier thought I would have to introduce mod as evidence, felt unprepared, told atty condiotn keepoing car on her having license within a week, told him I would try to call her right now, did not know if I could rach her,