Dream of: 20 February 1995 "What It Means To Love"

A man had been told that one of his several sons had fallen in love with a woman, and then that son had carved the woman's name inside his mouth, somewhere to the rear of his mouth. The man called the son to him, to investigate the story.

Another person and I were standing in front of what appeared to be a computer enlargement of the son's mouth. When we saw the teeth open wide enough to step inside, we stepped into the mouth. The floor of the mouth looked like concrete; in fact the inside looked a bit like a city street. I looked around on the floor trying to see if a name had been chiseled into the concrete, but I didn't see one anywhere. I walked to the rear of the mouth, where I saw a large, brick building, perhaps a church. There on the steps leading to the door of the building, I saw a name had been cut into the stone. The first letter was "A." It looked like a Latin name, but I couldn't read it clearly.

***

As I was standing outside a large, brick building, I was thinking about what it meant to love. I saw a large, beautiful dog, and I thought how when a person loved a dog, and something happened to the dog, the person would suffer great pain. As I also contemplated what a dog might feel in its love for a human, I had an image of a dog in mind which seemed to somewhat anthromorphize, taking on characteristics of a human. I felt that a dog could also suffer deeply at the loss of a human.

I walked to the back of the building, thinking I needed to feel a deep love for someone or something. I thought I already loved someone, but I felt the love wasn't deep enough. I felt as if love and pain were intimately connected and that to love deeply, I must also be willing to suffer deeply. I clinched my eyes closed, and concentrated on who I loved.

***

My wife Carolina and I had gone early one morning to a place where I was going to be working. We were in a large room filled with pool tables. I pointed out the pool table which would be my work station, and I asked Carolina if she would like to play a game. She said she would and we began looking for the balls. Although I saw one regular billiard ball on the table, we wanted to use small balls the size of marbles, and we began looking for them in the pockets. The pockets also had small holes in their bottoms so the marbles would roll together in one place. However we had difficulty finding all the balls we needed.

To keep track of what we found, we took out a piece of paper and made a column for each color of ball. We had about six colors, including white and black. At the top of one column Carolina had written the letter "F." I didn't know what it stood for at first, but then realized it was for "Fall" for the color brown, like leaves in the fall.

When we could find no more balls, I began adding up what we had. I counted down the column of white balls until I reached 20, then I made a mark. I counted on to the end and realized we had 40 white balls. I told Carolina that was more than enough and we would be able to play.

Other people had begun coming into the room, and were going to their tables. One fellow who was apparently delivering the mail came over to our table, and I told him that this was my new address and he could deliver my mail on one side of the table. I thought someone else might be sitting on the other side of the table.

While I was busy with something else, I noticed that Kennon (a Fort Worth attorney)had walked up to our table. He didn't see me at first, and it looked as if he was going to flirt with Carolina, but when he saw me, he turned and left.

The preceeding is an actual dream included in my dream journal, and does not describe actual facts

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