Dream of: 13 February 1995 "Montana"

Carolina and I were walking along an isolated trail over large, smooth, dust-red rocks and boulders. Only gradually did I realize we were in some mountains in Montana. Wide beautiful vistas surrounded us. As we hiked along, I made up a little song, singing, "I love Montana."

Suddenly a man (probably in his 30s) appeared in our path. As we walked past him, he seemed disoriented, and I immediately became apprehensive. I felt vulnerable because we were alone in an isolated area, and I didn't even know where we were. After we had gone a few steps past the man, I turned and saw that he had overcome the surprise of seeing us here, and that he was now walking toward us. He was holding a stick in his hand and I knew immediately he was going to attack us. I was holding a chain with something on the end of it, and when the man was close enough, I swung it at him to keep him at bay.

As we faced off, I kept backing along the trail, hoping we would encounter some signs of civilization. I soon saw what appeared to be a railing; looking over the railing I saw below us a highway. My attacker jumped over the railing and landed on a sidewalk about three meters below. At first I wasn't going to follow, but when I saw that my attacker appeared to have disappeared, Carolina and I also descended to the sidewalk, which although it seemed outside, also seemed to be within a large hallway of a building, something like a mall, only with no stores in sight. Although we were obviously now in a populated area, I saw only one man (not the one I had seen before) walking toward us. I asked the man how to get where the people were, and he pointed the direction.

Carolina and I began walking and slowly more and more people appeared. Finally I saw a small group of five or six men with their heads shaved, sitting to one side of the sidewalk. Among them I saw the man who had attacked us, and I realized he and the others were a group of skinheads. It appeared that our attacker had injured himself, and that the others were examining him. Since so many other people were now around, they didn't seem like a threat, and as I passed, I hollered, "Fuck you, skinheads."

We continued walking until we found ourselves in a lobby with many people bustling about. I now felt completely safe, and knew the only thing we had to worry about was finding a room for the night. We sat down on a large, plush, vanilla couch and contemplated our surroundings. Activity was all around us. It appeared that we were in some kind of resort and that many people, especially college-aged people, had come here to vacation. Several women (probably about 20 years old) caught my attention. They were all dressed in obviously expensive suits. I thought they must have gone to a lot of trouble to get so well dressed up to travel to this spot. I contrasted them to Carolina, who was dressed quite casually; I thought how rarely she dressed up like that.

As we sat here feeling rather tired, a woman walked up and asked us if we would like to spend the night. When we indicated we would, she said she would get the couch ready for us. Only then did I realize that she was going to prepare the couch right here in the lobby for us to sleep on. I quickly declined, and said, "We want our own room."

She understood, and indicated we would have to go to another area to find our own room. She was polite and asked if we would like her to drive us there. I said that would be fine, and she said she would first check to find where a room was available. When she walked away, Carolina and I stood back up and began circulating through the lobby.

On a table I saw a small brochure, and realized it had a list of places with available rooms for the night. But when I picked it up, I saw that it was blank, except for some unmarked maps. I noticed a second brochure and picked it up. It had all the information printed in it. Apparently the brochures were being printed right there (I saw what appeared to be a small printing press) and the first brochure simply hadn't yet been printed.

As I flipped through the pages, I saw that several places had reasonably priced rooms. I was surprised to see some for under $40. But I also saw that there was a high season which ended at the first of May. Since we were in the high season, I began to fear we would have difficulty finding a room.

Again Carolina and I sat down, trying to decide what to do. We were almost sitting on the floor, and beside me, we had laid down a light-colored stuffed animal which looked like a dog. Although I hadn't wanted to, we had brought this stuffed animal on the trip with us. As we sat there, I petted it as I would a live dog, something I had made it a point in the past not to do. It had always seemed ridiculous to me to pet a stuffed animal. I pointed that fact out to Carolina. Trying to be macabre, I said something about a dead dog, and even suggested sewing a dead dog up in the stuffed animal.

Carolina stood up and said she was going to look around. When she walked through a door, I stood and followed. I already knew what was inside – a large department store. I wanted to quickly guide her out of there, as I didn't want to waste a lot of time here shopping.

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