Dream of: 29 October 1994 "Misguided"

My father had taken my grandmother Mabel and me to a restaurant, perhaps the Brown Derby, in Portsmouth, where he was going to treat us to a meal. After I had sat down at the table, I noticed my father and my grandmother talking to someone at a back counter. Only after my father and my grandmother had sat down with me – my grandmother to my left, my father to my right – and we had been sitting there for several minutes, did I realize that my grandmother must have given her order to the waitress at the counter. As I waited a while longer for the waitress to come for my order, I became increasingly distressed and impatient. When my grandmother's food was brought out to her, I rose, and in a huff, marched back to the counter.

I stepped inside a door and announced that I wanted to see the waitress – the one who wasn't properly waiting on our table. Several waitresses were sitting on a counter eating something. One stood up and walked over to me. I quickly informed her that while she was taking care of feeding herself, she was neglecting her duties at our table, and that she in fact hadn't even bothered to take my order. When she didn't appear to demonstrate the proper concern or respect, I demanded to know whether the manager was available.

Another waitress who appeared more solicitous volunteered that the manager stayed in a building across the street, but wasn't there now. I demanded that I be given the name and address of the manager so I could write and complain about the service I had received.

When I returned to the table and sat down, my grandmother was busily consuming her meal. When my waitress walked up and sat down on my left between my grandmother and me, my grandmother didn't interrupt her repast.

The waitress (probably in her mid 20s) was quite attractive with white teeth and blonde hair. She wore a low-cut blouse which revealed large full breasts. One of her breasts would have touched my elbow when she sat down had I not jerked my elbow away.

She tried to be friendly, but I would have none of it. Obviously she didn't want me to write to the manager, but I was determined. When she finally stood to walk away, she shrugged and said it didn't make any difference if she were fired, because she had been thinking of quitting anyway. I replied, "Then it will be good for everybody."

As she walked away she turned and retorted, "Good for everybody but you."

Watching her disappear, I felt stung by her words. In fact I was the only one who had lost out. I had planned to order a fish platter. But I had ended up with nothing. Why had I made such a big deal out of everything? I could have just gone to the counter and called the waitress's attention to my not having been waited on. Maybe I hadn't wanted to eat the fish, because I didn't want to eat meat. Maybe the whole thing had been my way of avoiding eating meat. It seemed, however, my actions had been misguided.

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