Dream of: 23 October 1994 "Interrupted Church"
sing to death, the destroyer of worlds
I had moved back to Ohio into a home not far from a medium-sized, brick church which I decided to visit with my mother. I had the feeling that quite a few older women went to the church, but not many men. I particularly wanted to go to the church because I wanted to sing. I would sing in a deep voice and I would make a welcome addition to the song.
My mother and I arrived at the church and took a seat in one of the pews - she was seated on my left. I quickly realized that I had entered the church without shoes and that I was only wearing gray socks. For some reason I had taken off my shoes outside and I had failed to put them back on. Although I didn't think my being shoeless would make much difference to anyone there, I was embarrassed that I also wasn't wearing a shirt. Instead of a shirt, I had wrapped a blue blanket around me. I didn't know why I had been so foolish as not to wear a shirt, but I tried not to let it bother me.
The singing began and everyone stood up. Perhaps 30 people were in the church when we started, but the church continued to fill until finally perhaps 100 people were present. Both my mother and I pulled out hymn books and tried to find the song being sung. Although I couldn't find the song at first, I tried to sing along anyway, I was so anxious to sing. I could tell that my voice would make a definite difference in the total sound produced by us all. However, I couldn't find the song in my hymnal until the song was almost finished, so my performance was uneven at best.
Another song began. Again I had trouble finding the song in the hymnal, and before I could find it, the congregation sat down. Only a woman standing in front of the congregation and facing us continued singing. Apparently she was singing solo. The white-haired woman - she must have been in her 80s - wasn't a good singer. Although I was anxious to sing myself, I sat down like the others and waited for her to finish.
When the next song began, the church was fuller and quite a few black people were also sitting near the front of the church. The sight of the black people made me feel more at home in the church and I was happy to be in a church where blacks and whites comingled. I felt as if this were going to become my church, and as if I would begin coming here regularly. I would get to know all the people in the church and become part of the church community.
When the song finished, a casually dressed man (probably in his early 30s) walked down the aisle and greeted people. I had expected something like that to happen, since I knew that in most churches someone usually greeted new people. When he reached me, he appeared somewhat surprised to see me wrapped in a blanket. I felt embarrassed and I wanted to explain to him that I didn't always dress like that, but he continued on without prying into the reasons for my attire.
From where I was sitting I could look through a large window over the surrounding countryside. In the far distance I could see the skyline of a city, and I could make out a large tower, almost like a castle, near the city. I was suddenly stunned to witness a resplendent flash of light in the city, followed by a column of smoke. After another flash followed, I watched the tower break in the middle and fall to the ground. I Immediately concluded that a war had begun and that the city had been struck by a nuclear bomb. I called to the others in the church and pointed out what I had seen. I cried out that we must leave the church - which could easily be bombed - and that we must flee to a smaller house.
Pandemonium ensued as people rushed to the door. I raced outside, looked around, and tried to decide where to go. I could see a small house not far away and I hollered to the others to go there, but people were running in every direction without seeming to know where they were headed. Some people headed toward another larger building, but I thought that going to that building was a bad idea because the building would be such an easy target. I continued toward the small house.
Suddenly I realized that two fighter jets were flying overhead. Realizing that the people who continued running would make easy targets, I ducked down on the ground. It looked as if the jets were going to drop some bombs. I looked at the small house ahead of me, determined to try to make it there.
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