Dream of: 15 July 1994 "Barbed Wire"

As my father and I walked around the large hill behind the Gallia County Farmhouse, I noticed many pine trees growing there. Fluffy white material from cottonwood trees seemed to have blown onto some of the trees.

I began thinking about my brother Chris, who was alone in the Farmhouse. When I had first come to the Farm, I used to take Chris out of the Farmhouse. But lately I hadn't been getting along well with Chris. Now we had had an argument and I had left him alone in the House. Since he had muscular dystrophy, he was simply confined in the Farmhouse. I needed to start being nicer to him. Maybe I could even put him on my back and start carrying him around the Farm.

I also needed to get out and walk through the forest on the path which surrounded the Farm. When I had first come to the Farm, I had often walked; but now I had stopped and had just given up on everything. Obviously, however, I first needed to start being nicer to Chris.

As we walked, my father began complaining that I had been complaining too much about something. He said if I would just keep my mouth shut, I wouldn't appear to be complaining as much, and he and I would get along much better.

I had no idea what he was talking about. He was a short ways above me on the hill, and I told him to stop, that I wanted to understand what he was saying. When he repeated what he had said – that I shouldn't be complaining – I angrily spouted off, "Well fuck you."

I turned and headed back down the hill. When I reached the bottom, I could see my father following me down the hill. He looked angry and I thought he was going to start a fight. I would have to pass through six or seven stands of barbed wire to escape him. I didn't want to fight in front of the barbed wire and be knocked into the wire. I pushed down a couple strands and pulled up a couple more strands so I could squeeze through.

I could see that my father had passed by; apparently he wasn't going to start a fight after all. I climbed through the wire, only to find that the back of my pants was caught on the wire as I tried to pass all the way through. I struggled trying to free myself.

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