Dream of: 30 August 1993 "Personality Change"

I was leaving work with three other men whom I hadn't known long. As we walked together down a city street, I was thinking about going out with them this evening for a night on the town. I had joined them several times before, and had begun to enjoy their company. Two of the fellows had black hair, were slim, and a few centimeters shorter than me. The third fellow had light hair, and was about my height and build. They all were probably in their thirties.

One of the dark-haired fellows who seemed like the leader was apparently going to drive. He had always driven in the past, but this time he mentioned that he was going to have to start charging for gas. That didn't bother me, because I would rather pay for the gas anyway.

***

I was in the back seat of the car being driven by the black-haired man. I had pulled out my billfold and extracted some ones to pay for gas. I thought three would be enough, but I saw that I had four in my hand. I took back one and handed the three to the driver.

***

As we rode along a street, I saw a kiosk selling comic books. I could see the various depictions of super heroes on the covers, and I thought I might like to go there some day and look them over. It looked as if there were a lot of unusual comic books there and I might like to start collecting some. I wondered if they had any Mad magazines. I remembered having recently read a story in a comic book about a writer of comic books having problems coming up with stories because he had a drinking problem. Where did the ideas for comics come from anyway? I wondered what happened to the kiosk when it rained.

***

I was walking across a street with the other three, headed for a bar on the other side. I thought I would go to the bar and have a few drinks with the others. I would probably come home late, and I wondered what Carolina would say. But it wasn't an overwhelming thought. It occurred to me that I had gone out with the others before, and that each time, no one had ever tried to pick up a woman, although I had the feeling that everyone would like to. As I crossed the street, I realized part of the problem might be that the two dark-haired fellows looked a bit like gangsters. They were both wearing trench coats, and seemed Italian. I thought I might say something to them about their appearance, but I didn't.

As I walked, I also realized I was uncertain of their names. I thought the leader was named Frankie and the other black-haired fellow was named Joey. But I was uncertain.

***

I was seated at a table in the bar. I had listened carefully to the conversation to determine the names of the two black-haired fellows. Finally I was sure that the leader was Frankie and the other was Joey.

Everyone ordered a beer. It was a quiet bar, with a lot of wood around. The bar itself was made of a fine, brown piece of wood. The bar curved around in a "L" shape and the edge was rounded.

The two women waitresses caught my attention. Although I had seen them before on other occasions and hadn't paid much notice to them, they now seemed particularly attractive. I felt the need to be with a woman more than usual today, and even the waitresses would suffice.

An attractive woman walked past me and I excitedly asked the others if they knew who she was, but no one did. I followed her around the bar with my eyes.

I looked over the few people at the bar just as an another attractive woman walked up to the part of the bar where it curved, and sat down. She had blonde hair cut short in a style which almost looked as if it were from the 1920s. She was wearing a long, old fashioned, silky light gray dress, which clung to and accentuated her body. When she sat down, she looked at me just for a second.

Her look had momentarily dazed me. I had already begun to drink my beer and was beginning to feel its effects. I knew that when I drank I underwent a personality change and talked much easier with people. When I wasn't drinking I was quite taciturn. Drinking made me voluble. I turned to the others and said, "I was watching Oprah or somebody the other day."

I knew the others were surprised to hear me suddenly start talking. But I felt as if they liked to hear me talk. I then related a story about something I had seen on the television show "Oprah Winfrey" or some other television show. Actually I thought it might have been a scene out of some television series like the "Untouchables", where someone was talking in a bar just as I was here. I said that in the show, someone had been talking about picking up women at bars. The person had said that studies had shown that a man will not approach a woman unless he has some kind of clear sign that the woman will not reject him. The sign may be as simple as a look.

When I finished, I realized while I had been talking, I had said something about the woman at the bar, and that Joey had already moved up to a seat at the bar, obviously with the intent of trying to pick up the woman. I laughingly said something about it, but I was actually a bit concerned because I would like to try to pick up the woman myself.

I looked at her again. She had lit a cigarette, and looked a bit heavier than she did at first, although she still attracted me. I wondered if she was attractive because I had had a few drinks. I knew that alcohol sometimes made women seem more attractive than they actually were.

I thought about what I would say to the woman if I went up to her. Could I just ask her if she would like to talk? Perhaps I could go to the bar and ask to buy a pack of cigarettes, and say something while I was standing next to her. But I hadn't done such a thing for so long, I was uncertain how to begin. And if she rejected me, it would look very bad in front of everyone. I was uncertain what to do.

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