Dream of: 26 May 1992 "Hazelnuts"

I was in a small room which seemed to be somewhere in France. The room was filled with hazelnuts piled all over the floor so I actually had to wade through them. Hanging from the ceiling of the room were long thin red sacks which looked something like stockings made of plastic threads. They were there for the hazelnuts. The sacks diameters were about the same size as a hazelnut. All this belonged to Carolina. She was the one responsible for putting all the hazelnuts here. Apparently she would put the hazelnuts in the little sacks and then sell them.

I was alone in the room, waiting for Carolina to return. She had gone somewhere. So I myself was now filling up the little sacks with hazelnuts. I would pick up a handful of hazelnuts, hold my hand over the sack and let the nuts fall into the sack until the sack was full. As I was filling up one of the sacks, I was also dropping other things into each sack, such as fingernail clippers, knives, forks, etc. I tried to put only one item in each sack.

I continued to wait and to fill up the sacks until I had almost used up all the nuts in the room. There was only a small pile left in the corner.

Concerned because Carolina hadn't yet returned, I walked outside and climbed up on the roof of the building where I had been. From here I could look around, and I was able to see a bunch of young people, apparently high school students, standing around the area. I noted the contrast, how I was alone on the roof, loner that I was, and all the other people were down there together. But I figured many of them would like to be with me, since I was so independent.

Finally I saw a bus pull up at the corner and I saw a girl in a bluejean jacket running down the street. She had black hair and at first I thought it was Carolina. But when I looked closer, I saw that it wasn't Carolina. I continued looking for Carolina, but I never saw her. I was soon going to have to leave. Slowly I began to realize she was with another man. The more I thought about it, the more I knew that she was seeing this other man.

I recalled that one time Carolina and I had gone to an apartment building, and Carolina had gone to a different apartment than I. I had then gone to the apartment where she had gone. At the time I had thought that was a little strange, but I had concluded it had just been a coincidence. But now I realized she was with the man, and I began thinking I was going to have to divorce her. I thought I would simply write up a short divorce petition and have it served on her. I would be able to get the divorce in just two months. I really didn't want to do it. But I couldn't live with her if she was going to be seeing another man. I thought that was certainly a good reason for me to divorce her.

How embarrassing it would be for me when my legal clients asked me if I were married. I hated to tell them I was divorced, especially since it would be for the second time. Plus I began thinking that I would have to divide up everything which I owned. Carolina also would probably hire a lawyer, and that would complicate the matter. And she would also be entitled to half of everything which I earned in the next two months before I obtained the divorce. But the main reason I didn't want to get the divorce was because I actually wanted to stay with her. I really cared about her and I didn't want to leave her. However I didn't think she was treating me right, and I thought I was going to have to do it whether I liked it or not.

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