As my wife Carolina and I were walking down a street in Portsmouth, we talked and I learned that she had gone to a bar with Ellen. At the bar they had talked with some men whom I used to know when I lived in Portsmouth. I thought one of the men might have been Grierson (a fellow a year older than I who lived across the street from me in Portsmouth in 1964). They had all partied together, and after leaving the bar, Carolina had even gone to a pool and gone swimming with a bunch of men. When I asked Carolina whether she had rubbed up against the men and flirted with them, she admitted she had. I accused her of having gone to the pool just so she could show off in a bathing suit. When I told her she just enjoyed displaying herself in front of other men, she admitted she did.

I was concerned that our relationship was beginning to fall apart because Carolina was beginning to have interest in other men. I really didn't want that to happen. I recalled that before I had been with Carolina, I had gone seven years without being with a woman. The last woman I had been with before Carolina had been Birdie (my girlfriend in my late teens). I knew if I now broke up with Carolina, it would take me a long time to find another woman whom I liked. I recalled that Ellen used to care a lot about me, but I didn't say anything to Carolina about that. I knew I could find another woman, but I really didn't want to do that either. I would prefer to just stay with Carolina. However, since Carolina had these tendencies to go out with other men, I was concerned our relationship wasn't going to last.

I asked Carolina if she wanted to have an "open relationship." By that I meant that we could each date other people. To myself I was thinking that an open relationship would never work for us. It was just not in our character. I didn't know what I was going to do. I did know, however, that I cared about Carolina and that I didn't want to lose her.

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