Dream of: 21 September 1991 (2) "The Main Man"
I stood for a while on the bank of Symmes Creek, at the foot of the hill in front of the Gallia County Farmhouse. When I finally turned to walk back up the hill to the Farmhouse, I noticed many plants rising over my head, each plant with a furry tuft at the end of its stalk. I remembered having seen the same beautiful plants in my youth, and I wondered if any praying mantises were in the plants. It had been a long time since I had seen any mantises. I thought when I reached the Farmhouse I would ask my grandmother Mabel and my grandfather Clarence if they had noticed any mantises this year.
As I continued up the hill, I began wondering what it would be like when I died. Would I know I was dead? Suddenly, in the midst of my wonderings, I found myself standing in a room, being greeted by people whom I recognized as my family. But these were all members of my family who had died. Suddenly it occurred to me that I also had died and arrived in what one might call heaven. I felt a bit like a dolt because I was unsure what had happened to me to cause me to be here. I asked the others and they confirmed my suspicions – I was dead. Feeling elated, I picked up a boy who apparently was one of my dead brothers. I thought how all things now were possible; I could even touch his penis if I wanted, and it wouldn't matter, but I didn't.
I put the boy back down on the ground, and the two of us walked along a hall together with the others. Suddenly I began wondering, if I were dead, where was God? I asked about "the main man." The response was rather vague, and I was left uncertain whether I would be meeting God soon.
As we descended some steps, I thought back on the life I had left behind. Now I could better understand that once a person had died and gone to another place where one didn't have to be concerned about anything, it would be easy to forget about the earth and its miseries. Besides, everyone on earth would someday die, and then it wouldn't matter to them either what was happening on earth. Yet somehow this conclusion just didn't set right with me. So much pain and suffering on earth, however slight it might be, caused an imperfection in the universe. And I could see how such an imperfection could lead me to have doubts about this afterlife, and about the power of the "main man" himself.
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