Dream of: 04 July 1991 "Too Much To Carry"

I was going to a school in which I had to go to several different classes throughout the day, but the same students were in each class. My classmates were both male and female (probably in their early 20s). It impressed me how well I was getting to know everyone in the class, especially the students who sat near me. But I really wasn't enjoying the school, and more than anything it reminded me of when I had been in prison in Iran, except that it did seem more stimulating. I also felt that I was of a somewhat lower social class than the other students, but that I was at least their intellectual equal. I thought I would rather impress them by lounging about in my chair as if I weren't doing anything most of the time, and then scoring well when I was put to the test.

Cosby (a former fellow law student) was also in the class; during a break I walked into the hall with him. He was carrying a small baby (perhaps only a year old) which he took to the bathroom. He took off its pants revealing that the baby had defecated in them, and that it almost looked as if it had black tar all over its butt. The baby wasn't crying and Cosby said he hadn't hit it any that day, something I knew he frequently did. He seemed in no hurry to clean up the baby, and I was unsure whether he was going to.

We talked, and since I knew he lived in Waco, I asked him about Vaughn. I knew Vaughn and I had been in the business of buying and selling houses after I had graduated from law school and that we had done so with quite a few houses. However when I had left, there had been one house left which we hadn't sold and I was uncertain what had happened to it. I had always felt guilty for leaving without first selling it, because it had been my responsibility to sell the houses, and I was also afraid that money might have been lost on that particular house. But Cosby told me that Vaughn had sold the house shortly after I had left at a profit. That was a tremendous relief for me and I told Cosby I would like to see Vaughn again some day. Cosby asked me if I wanted to see him so I could get my share of profit from the house. I said that wasn't the reason, that I didn't expect any profit from it. I just wanted to see him.

We walked back into the classroom and I went to my desk. I decided to clean some of the stuff out of it and carry it home. Home lay on the other side of a large bridge, somewhat like the U.S. Grant Bridge that crosses the Ohio River in Portsmouth. My things were in a part under the desk which looked like a cabinet under a kitchen sink. I was wearing a black tee shirt and I felt rather muscular, especially when I pulled in my stomach. Since my desk was in the front of the room, I thought some of the girls in the class were probably looking at me and were impressed by my muscular build.

I pulled quite a few things from under the desk and placed them on top. I found one box containing some items relating to the house which Vaughn had sold. The items seemed to be small colorful cutouts of animated characters. I thought I couldn't dispose of those. I also saw one of my calculators in its brown plastic case under there. But as I continued, I realized I had too much to carry, and I didn't even know why I was taking everything out in the first place. Obviously I wasn't going to be able to carry it all.

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