Dream of: 12 May 1991 "Eviscerating Habit"

After moving into an apartment in New York City, I called Weinstein and left a message for him on his answering machine. Since I didn't think he would return my call, I was surprised when the phone rang a short while later and he was on the line. He only lived two blocks from me, and after talking with him for a few minutes, I decided to visit him.

When I arrived at his apartment I was quite surprised by what I found. The place was in utter disrepair and he was in the process of tearing the covering off the floor in one of the rooms. Looking over the place, I noticed how the floor in the room in which he was tearing up the covering sloped to one side. I thought about how much nicer the apartment was in which I was living. Weinstein himself seemed distant and quite unhappy. Apparently he no longer liked living in New York and he was dissatisfied with his life in general. In contrast I was feeling rather good about myself. However I was nervous about seeing Weinstein again and I reflected that part of the reason might be because I had never stopped the eviscerating habit of masturbating.

One or two other friends of Weinstein arrived, and apparently he was going to fix a meal for us. But I felt as if I didn't want to stay. That surprised me, because in the past I had generally liked being with Weinstein. Now however, I felt as if I just wanted to get away from the place. I told him I was leaving, but as I started to depart he called me back. I actually half wanted him to again ask me to stay, but at the same time, I felt I really just wanted to get out of here.

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