Dream of: 26 March 1991 "Sex, Drugs, And Meat"

In the serving line of a cafeteria, I was piling my plate with pancakes and other breakfast fare. When I had finished loading my dish, I walked to the front of the cafeteria, where Leah (former law school classmate) was standing. Recalling that Leah was supposed to meet me here, I walked toward her. Since she didn't yet have any food, I asked her if she were going to get some. I was unsure she would be allowed to sit with me if she didn't buy any food. She said she might eat some lunch. Although I was eating breakfast, I realized it was almost noon, and thought she would probably be able to have lunch.


In a small room, I was packing some clothes for a vacation which I planned to take to a resort area where I would be meeting Leah. Since we would be staying at the resort for four days, I thought I should take a change of clothes for each day. Although I was unsure whether I even had four changes of clean clothes, I was positive Leah would have a change of clothes for every day.


I was riding along in a car on a mountainous road, headed to an area where I intended to ski. From the car I could glimpse the ski resorts in the mountains, and see people skiing down a mountain trail. All the trees around the ski resort were a dark deep green, but the trees close to the car were light green, as if they were very young. There also didn't appear to be as much snow in the area around the resort as in the area around the car. Neither area had much snow, and brown earth could be seen in both areas. I wondered how people were even skiing at all and I noticed some skiers braking to an abrupt stop when they passed from the snow to the brown area.

The car passed a golf course where people were wearing shorts and tee shirts under the hot sun. I wondered if it were going to be cold enough on the mountain to ski. It seemed incongruous to see golfers, and then see skiers coming right down to the edge of the golf course.


I was in a car with Mike Walls, Randy Ramey, Steve Weinstein (friends whom I first met in Portsmouth when I was a teenager). Walls was driving and Ramey was in the front passenger seat, while Weinstein and I rode in the back seat. We were in the resort area, which now seemed to be in scenic Shawnee State Forest, about fifteen kilometers from Portsmouth.

Suddenly, I realized I needed to return to Portsmouth because I hadn't packed enough clothes. I had abruptly launched out to the park with only the clothes on my back. I was especially concerned because I knew Leah would be at the resort, and I didn't want to see her with just one set of clothes.

I hoped I might be able to persuade someone to convey me back to town, where I had a car which I could drive back to the resort. I thought about where I would need to go in Portsmouth. My mother had moved into a new house in a nice area in the hilltop section of Portsmouth. I would feel comfortable with someone dropping me off at her impressive house. But I couldn't remember the address, even though I knew the house was on the corner of Coles Boulevard. Perhaps Walls could simply let me use his car. I asked him and he replied, "Sure. No problem."

Walls mentioned that Ron Parker (an old schoolmate from high school) would be at the park. Walls said Parker could probably ride into town with me and drive Walls' car back. I thought such a plan would work out fine.

As Weinstein and I sat together in the back seat, we began talking about things which we thought God wanted us to do with our lives. I figured Weinstein might be referring to baser impulses which God wanted us to eliminate from our characters. I thought Weinstein had tried to conquer some of his vices, such as taking drugs and eating meat and having sex. I told him that I myself had tried to extirpate all three vices. I said, "I've tried and I've failed." I thought Weinstein had also tried and failed, but that he, like I, was still trying to succeed.

As the journey continued, our car seemed more like a small wagon or cart which Walls was pushing. We had reached the top of a mountain, partaken of the extensive view, and were now heading down the mountain road, with a steep cliff on our right. As Walls pushed our wagon, it seemed to me that our descending the mountain was somehow related to drugs, meat and sex, as if going down the hill was the same as having the three vices. Mixed in with my thoughts was also the feeling that Weinstein and I had both taken an hallucinogenic drug, or that we were about to do so.

As we rolled around a curve, I realized the trek down the mountain was going to be more dangerous than I had anticipated, and I slipped off the edge of the wagon to safety. But Weinstein stayed on. As Walls gave the cart a final push, sending it wheeling down the road, I heard Weinstein chide me for having jumped off. But I was sure the steep mountain road was too dangerous.

The cart was still not going so fast that Weinstein couldn't jump off if he wanted, and as the cart bumped against a railing along the steep cliff to the right, I hollered out to Weinstein, "Jump, Steve! It's very dangerous!"

But Weinstein didn't jump. Instead, with Weinstein aboard, the wagon continued to pick up speed until finally it crashed into the railing separating the road from the steep cliff. The wagon slid right under the railing, and as it slammed over the cliff, I saw Weinstein fall out and plummet straight down the cliff. He was wearing something white, like long white underwear. It was a horrible sight; obviously he was going to die. I groaned, "Oh, man!"

As I watched Weinstein crash perhaps a hundred meters straight down the side of the cliff, I wondered what thoughts were going through his head as he fell, when he realized he was going to die. He plummeted out of sight, so I didn't see where he landed. But I noted where we were, and thought we needed to walk down to where he had fallen, to see if we could retrieve his body. Obviously he couldn't have survived such a fall.

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