Dream of: 15 March 1991 "Kidnapped"

Carolina, Paz and I had gone to a Spanish-speaking country, perhaps Mexico. We were walking through the crowded streets of a small, picturesque town in a mountainous area. We looked in the windows of several shops until we came to one filled with art work. We walked in and a man showed us a curtain which was supposed to have some art works behind it. He pulled back the curtain, revealing numerous stone and wood carvings.

One of the carvings from white rock was a large statue of Donald Duck. There were also several small carvings of skulls, each only about three centimeters in diameter. On a table I saw some small, white statues of horses with riders on them. They were quite unusual very thin, almost as if small wafers had been carved out of something. I thought about buying something.

However we walked back to the street without buying anything. Once outside, I realized Carolina and I had lost Paz. I asked Carolina if she thought she would like to come here and live for a year and go to school here. She thought she would. I would like to come there for a year to live while she went to school.

As we walked along amidst a throng of people, I noticed that some men in light green military uniforms had walked up. They asked to see my passport. Only now did I realize that we were actually in El Salvador. I pulled my passport from my left jacket pocket and gave it to one of the men. He looked inside and said that the passport showed that I had just arrived that day. I said that was correct, that I had just arrived a few hours ago. I told him I was on vacation. I said I wasn't sure that this was the best place in the world to go on vacation, but that I had come anyway. He handed my passport to another man, who ran off to a side street and into a small building.

As we continued to wait, I began to become nervous. If the military men tried to arrest me, I would scream out to the crowd that I was an American, and I would scream out my name and address, hoping that someone would contact the American embassy. I also hoped that if the military knew I was an American, they wouldn't do anything to me.

Gradually I noticed that some of the guards had disappeared; upon further scrutiny, I realized they all were gone. At the same time, I noticed that Carolina was no longer with me. I looked around for her, but I couldn't see her anywhere. She had been wearing a shirt with horizontal stripes across it. As I walked back and forth looking for her, I became more and more concerned. Only after searching the whole area did I realize that the police had kidnapped her. I was at a complete loss of what to do. I hoped they would release her; but as time passed, I realized they would probably rape her. They were probably raping her right now. I didn't know what to do or where to go to help her.

I thought to myself that if that actually happened, I would probably join the guerrilla forces and fight against the government here. I knew the war was toning down in El Salvador and there wasn't much fighting going on. If I joined the guerrilla forces, I would make a big deal out of it so people would know that an American was fighting down here against the government. It occurred to me that many people had probably joined the guerrillas because they had lost loved ones.

If the war stopped, I would have no further recourse but to find out who had done this thing to Carolina. I might even have to hire a detective to help me. I would then personally seek revenge.

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