Dream of: 03 March 1991 "Time To Move On"

Weinstein had come to visit me in the Fort Worth Rock House. I lay on the couch in the front room as I talked with him. I was feeling quite depressed about my relationship with Weinstein, as if it were finally drawing to a close and as if we wouldn't be seeing each other any more. I felt as if I had tried many times to maintain the relationship with Weinstein, but that while living in New York he had purposely ignored me. I felt rather dazed about what I was feeling, but also sensed the finality and irrevocability of it all. Not holding back what I had to say, I uttered, "I could have loved you."

Weinstein, who was sitting on the floor, seemed alarmed at what I was saying. He said something about how he had loved me "again." I knew what he was talking about, because I recalled how once we had had a severe falling out, and then we had renewed our relationship. But I felt that whatever he had felt for me, the relationship had long gone uncultivated and that any attempt he might make now to renew our friendship was too late. My decision had been made, and now it was time to move on. It seemed quite clear that my destiny, writing dreams, no longer involved him, and I told him so.

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