Dream of: 29 December 1990 "Reborn"

I had moved to a new apartment in a foreign city. I walked through the rooms looking at the apartment. There was no furniture, but I thought everything would be satisfactory

***

I seemed to be about 12 years old and was playing football. As the play began, the other side had the football. I was an end and was near a player on the other side who I was supposed to guard. He began running and I followed. But he ran faster than I and I couldn't catch him. Suddenly the quarterback threw the football toward my man. The football reached him, but he couldn't catch it. Relieved, I watched the ball fall to the ground.

On the next play I decided to position myself farther from my man. That way I wouldn't have to run as far to catch him when the next play began. The play began. This time I was able to stay closer to him, but he was still able to pass me. Once again the quarterback threw the ball to my man and once again my man was unable to catch it.

The game ended. I knew my man was unhappy because he hadn't been able to catch the football. But I wasn't happy because I knew I hadn't defended correctly.

***

I had just left a high school where I was a student. It was the high school for which I was playing football. I had only been going to the high school a few days. Outside the school I saw the football coach. I had never spoken with him before. I remembered a play in the football game when someone had caught a long throw, and I wanted to talk with the coach about it. But I felt uncomfortable, because I was wearing black pants which were too long for me. So when I started talking to the coach, I said something about my big pants. He didn't pay much attention to me -- he said something and walked away. I felt a little ridiculous, but at least I had spoken to him.

***

I was on a bicycle in a new town where I had only lived for about a week, and which I liked very much. The town was in the south of the United States. As I rode through the streets, I thought perhaps I would spend the rest of my life here. It would be a new life for me. I felt as if I was reborn.

I passed an old theater on my right. I thought I would like to see all the buildings of the little town.

However, I thought it might have been better to have lived in another country, perhaps in Europe, perhaps in Mexico. I had a car and could drive to Mexico. It would be much better to be able to speak another language. But Mexico had never pleased me for long. No, I was certain I would prefer to live in Europe. That would be marvelous. But although I was sure I would prefer to live in Europe, I was unsure I could leave this town.

Perhaps I could live in Germany. I still knew how to speak good German. I didn't know how I was able to remember German so well. But I could.

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