Dream of: 11 December 1990 "English Class"

I was in the House in Patriot, looking at some books containing love stories. It seemed that all the men in the books had been famous artists, and that all the women had been from different countries than the men. I picked up one book, opened it, and as I quickly became interested in it, realized it was written in Italian, written like a play, with the dialogue of a man and woman in love. It appeared that the man was Russian, but that he and the woman only communicated in Italian, although it was unclear whether she was actually Italian.


As I was standing on the back porch of the House in Patriot, Carolina rode up on a bicycle, and we began talking about a fellow she knew named Hung. It soon became clear to me she wanted to have a relationship with Hung. Suspecting she might have already had an affair with the fellow, I asked her if she had already had sex with him and she said no. However obviously she was thinking seriously about it, and I thought he also probably wanted to have sex with her. I suggested she might be able to begin having sex with him, even while she was still having sex with me. When she asked me if that was what I wanted, I told her that it wasn't what I wanted, but that it looked as if that was what she wanted. She seemed rather unsure about the matter. Since I needed to do something else, I said good-bye to her and she left.

Although I was distraught, I thought I needed to go to an English class which was being taught by my grandmother Leacy. Even though I didn't want to go, I knew I needed to. I thought how I wasn't really learning anything in the class, which was being held in the kitchen of the House. However, I thought I would go anyway.

One reason I didn't want to go was because I didn't have any respect for what Leacy was teaching. I thought I knew more about the subject than she did. I had already gone to college and had a masters degree in Latin. I also did a lot of writing, and knew more than she did about writing English.

I walked into the House and into a room where a fellow who worked for the school was sitting behind a counter. Lying on the counter was a tape recorder. In my hand I had a tape which I had made of my entire conversation with Carolina. I stuck the tape into the recorder, turned it on and began listening to it. As I listened I tried to discern whether Carolina really wanted to go out with the other fellow. I wanted the fellow behind the counter to hear the tape so I could get his opinion on it.

I also thought that if Carolina had sex with Hung, I might even watch her. I might be able to hide in a closet which I knew she had in her bedroom.

As I listened, I realized she was talking about two different fellows with whom she was thinking of having a relationship, and not just Hung. That bothered me even more, and I began thinking there was always the problem of her contracting AIDS if she were sleeping with someone else. I thought if I agreed to her having sex with someone else, that person would have to have an AIDS test. Plus I would insist she tell the other person she was married.

I also thought if she began having sex with someone else, I might simply quit having sex with her.

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