Dream of: 04 October 1990 "Hurting Good"

I had been with several people, finally ending up with a fairly attractive woman (probably in her mid 30s). Although I thought she might be married, I was contemplating trying to have sex with her. I was uncertain she would be willing, but to my surprise she began coming on to me, rubbing her soft cheek against mine, rolling her curvaceous body over mine. Even though I felt temptingly attracted to her, I finally realized I didn't want to pursue physical contact with her. Indeed, I simply wanted to ditch her.

I took her to a room where a number of people were gathered apparently for a formal meal. Many seemed to be members of my immediate family. I perceived my father there frowning about my being with the woman. Recalling his affair with Kay, I thought he was being highly hypocritical. Yet I understood how he could disapprove of my being with the woman.

I soon found myself alone with my brother Chris, who also disapproved of my being with the woman. I tried clarifying to Chris that I wasn't going to be with her anymore. He seemed to understand what I was saying, but he still seemed disappointed in me. In fact he seemed sad in general. I intuited he was already dead, and I mentioned to him I had been dreaming about him often.

While both of us were sitting on the bed, I thought he might enjoy a massage and I began rubbing his back and legs. After he moaned several times I asked him if it hurt, and he replied, "Yes, but it hurts good."

Although he continued moaning, he clearly wanted me to continue. Feeling how tight the muscles in his legs were, I felt sad just realizing I had never bothered to massage him before. I thought about sitting on his back, but since we were both completely naked, I thought that might be improper. I could see his butt, and I didn't want any misinterpretation that I might be trying to stick my penis in him. But there was nothing sexual whatever about what I was doing. I sat by his side and continued massaging his back and legs, as he continued to moan.

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