As I waited, I picked up a book which resembled something the writer Carlos Castaneda might have authored. When I opened the book and tried to read it, I had acute difficulty focusing on the words. However, I was able to make some sense out of most of what I read. Finally, still reading the book, I stood up and walked out of the room.

I understood the book was describing a mystical system of beliefs. The section which I was reading, however, seemed quite logical and devoid of mysticism. The logical section seemed to mirror my current life and my own mind-set. However, I wasn't interested in reading this section. I wanted to hurry to another part of the book, an unrealistic section which would describe the kind of mysticism which I hoped to experience with the drugs I had taken.

As I read, I began to feel as if someone were walking beside me, and either from my reading the book, or from a conversation with the person, the subject of doing things for other people arose. I reflected how I was only concerned with myself, and the only person for whom I ever did anything was myself. But clearly, in the mystical system I was reading, the key to the system was doing things for others.

As I continued reading, I also realized the book was describing a place very close to where I was. The book said some dead bodies had been thrown into a pit in a nearby rocky area. I immediately decided I wanted to see the pit, and I began walking in the direction of the rocky area.

As soon as I reached the rocky area, I saw I would have to ascend a rather steep rocky path to reach the pit. It appeared that a large crater was at the top of the trail, and that the dead bodies would be lying at the bottom of the crater. If I would mount to the top of the path, I would be able to stand on the rim of the crater and gaze down to where the bodies were lying.

However, as I began climbing the treacherous path, the ascent became steeper and steeper, until finally I was afraid I was going to tumble backwards and injure myself. Concluding that I wasn't going to be able to reach the top, I began gingerly backing down the path. I made a mistake, strayed off the path, and soon found myself hanging onto the side of a cliff.

From where I dangled, I could look below me; a huge animal was standing not far away. I couldn't distinguish the animal clearly, but thought it might be a buffalo. I could simply let loose and drop to the bottom where the animal was. It wasn't a long drop; I could probably fall without injuring myself. Finally I let go, fell, and fortunately landed safely intact.

As soon as I hit solid ground, the animal walked up to me; it was actually a large brown longhorn bull. I was worried the bull might try to attack me. When it suddenly lunged at me, I seized both horns, one horn in each hand, and wrestled the bull to the ground. I was unsure what I was going to do with the bull, but at least I kept myself from being hurt.

***