Dream of: 04 July 1990 "Pleading Insanity"

I had been appointed by a judge to defend a man accused of murder. The time of the trial was approaching, and I hadn't yet adequately prepared. In fact, I found myself sitting in the gallery of the courtroom one day, apparently listening to evidence being offered by the prosecution, when I realized I needed to begin preparing my case.

***

It seemed that one of the prosecutors was a blonde-haired woman (perhaps 30 years old). Although we were on opposite sides in the case, and although I had never really known her well, I felt deeply attracted to her spiritually. One day we were sitting next to each other and I moved closer and closer until our cheeks were actually touching. She didn't pull away and finally I whispered into her ear, "I like you a lot."

Although she rose and left, I had the feeling that she also cared about me.

***

Some evidence in the case dealt with a golf course, and how far my defendant might have hit a golf ball on that course. The prosecution had already had men out on the course hitting balls to determine where a ball hit by my client might have landed. I had a vision of them on the course and I could see them hitting the balls. I wondered how accurate their calculations were.

***

I had also come to realize my client, although he was known by a nick name, was actually named something else. I thought that when the time came for him to testify, we would probably use his real name.

***

All the while it seemed as if the trial was going on and the prosecution was presenting its case. Finally it appeared that it was my turn to present my case. It suddenly occurred to me that we should plead insanity. Almost at the same time the judge spoke to me and asked me if we were going to plead insanity. Actually it was more as if he told me that I should use the insanity defense.

The judge (perhaps 40 years old), dressed in his black robe, stood in front of me. He was average height, had short black hair, and was a bit overweight. It seemed as if I knew him from somewhere, as if I might have worked previously in his court.

I discussed the insanity defense with him, trying to decide whether I should use it. I knew I must. I thought my client probably was insane. It would be improper for me not to use the defense if I could. I asked the judge how long my client would be able to avoid trial by using the defense; the judge seemed to think it would be about four months.

***

Several months later I was riding with Carolina in a car. We had used the insanity defense in the trial, and the trial had been postponed while my client stayed at a psychiatric institute. I asked Carolina if she thought we should submit a bill for attorney's fees, and I was surprised when she told me she had already submitted several bills. Now I remembered I had put her in charge of taking care of my finances, but I was surprised to learn she had already been paid for my work in that case. Indeed she showed me several bills which she had submitted, each totaling about $750.

When I looked at them, I became a bit concerned by some items for which she had charged. On one bill she had charged for "pots and pans" and for "nail polish." I didn't know how she could justify that to the judge.

***

I felt close to Carolina; but I also had another woman to whom I was apparently committed. One day Carolina and I were sitting on a couch, and the other woman had just left the room. I put my arm around Carolina and pulled her closer to me. I liked being close to her like that, but I was also concerned about what the other woman would say if she came back and saw us like that.

***

Apparently I had also developed a relationship with Cathy. One day Carolina, Cathy and I were together working, apparently at the courthouse; I thought about what people must think about my being involved with two women. Actually I felt pretty good about it. I liked being with Carolina, but I also liked the idea of having another woman. Sometimes the three of us would go dancing together. First I would dance with one, then the other. People knew I had taken Cathy away from her husband Jon. But Jon didn't seem to care, and apparently other people didn't care either.

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