Dream of: 08 May 1990 "Retained Gift"

I had been living with my father and my mother, but after a major fight with them, I moved out to live in a small apartment in a building which resembled a hotel. Once I was settled in, my father, my mother, and my sister came to my apartment and walked in. I didn't want them in my apartment because I was still very upset with them. I told them to leave and that I didn't want to see them anymore. I felt as if they had committed an unpardonable wrong against me by throwing me out of their house. My father and my mother acted as if nothing major had happened and as if I would get over it; but I didn't feel as if I were going to get over anything.

Sitting on the television was a small Christmas tree and several figures of Santa Claus which had been given to me either by my father or my mother. I picked up the tree and threw it out the door. Next I did the same with the figures of Santa Claus. Although I intended to throw out everything my parents had given me, I remembered one thing which I wanted to keep: a hand gun, a black revolver with a long barrel. I retrieved the gun from under a cushion on the couch, held it in my hand and admired it. I recalled how my father had once given the gun to me. I thought I might now point it at him and force him to leave, but instead, I simply put the gun away.

My father seemed determined not to leave and finally we actually began struggling with each other. I didn't actually hit him, but I thought I might before it was over.

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