Dream of: 05 May 1990 "Over The Years"

I found myself in a small house almost directly behind the Grace Street House (the House in New Boston where Birdie lived in the late 1960s). A fellow (perhaps in his mid 20s) was living in the small house. I began telling him how I had also once lived in this small house many years before. I commented that I had slept many times on the floor of the room we were in. Apparently the fellow didn't have a bed and he likewise slept on the floor.

We sat down and somehow our conversation turned to drugs. Apparently he used to do a lot of drugs, but he told me he didn't anymore. But when I told him I still liked hallucinogens and marijuana, he said he also still liked marijuana. He said he had meant he didn't use cocaine. I told him I didn't use cocaine either.

Four other fellows (probably in their mid 20s) with scraggly hair and ragged clothes walked in and sat down at a table across from me. I asked one what kind of music he liked and he said he didn't listen much to music, but he said something about how he liked to play music. It occurred to me that the four of them were probably in a band together. I asked them and they said they did play in a band, but not together.

Finally I asked about Birdie and was told she was outside cleaning up the yard. I wondered if that was the kind of work she did now yard cleaning. I looked out the windows trying to see her, but she wasn't there. I was told that Birdie was living with her parents in the house behind us, and I thought she must be in that house.

It occurred to me that I was the father of Birdie's daughter, Brandi. I thought that Brandi was still quite young, and that if it were proven in court that I was Brandi's father, Birdie could force me to pay child support. That could add up to perhaps $10,000 a year. But I didn't think Birdie would to that. She was probably already getting child support from Rick, and would never get it again from him if she got it from me.

Noticing a mirror in the room, I looked at myself. I looked young, perhaps in my mid 20s. My hair seemed particularly full and hung to my eyebrows. I wondered if Birdie would recognize me if she saw me now after so many years. I was sure she would. I knew I would recognize her, even though she might have changed a lot over the years.

I wanted to see her badly and I watched for her to come out. Finally I saw her and several other people walking toward a car. I walked out to the street and when I hollered her name, she stopped and I walked over to her. I put my arm around her and we began walking side by side down the street. She seemed to have put on some weight, and she didn't look the same. I searched for something to say to her as we walked along.

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