I saw a small problem with the idea. I knew I talked with Pat Lang (an acquaintance) every week and told her my dreams. I had already told her I didn't want to have anything else to do with marijuana, but I also knew if I started raising marijuana, I was going to dream about marijuana. That presented a problem. I concluded I simply wouldn't read the dreams to her in which marijuana appeared.

I looked closer at the seeds and saw they were all white. When I picked up one in my hand, it was very soft, as if it hadn't developed. I handed the cup to Cathy so she could take a seed and feel it.

I told her I was uncertain the marijuana was going to grow from the seeds. If it didn't, I would try again with other seeds. Growing marijuana fascinated me so much I was sure I was going to do it, even though it might cost me a lot of time.

***

The next morning I was seated on a chair in the kitchen. Apparently I had slept there all night, and when I awoke, I discovered Cathy seated on my lap, completely nude. I was somewhat disconcerted, and I tried to remember what had happened between Cathy and me. Gradually I remembered that Jon hadn't been in the house for several days, and that Cathy and I had slept together and had sex. I still had visions of Cathy's naked body, a body which reminded me of someone else whom I couldn't remember.

Suddenly I remembered that Jon had returned last night and that he was probably in his room. I woke up Cathy and told her she needed to go to her room immediately. Gradually she awoke, and without saying anything and without getting dressed, she walked into Jon's room.

When she left, I noticed her black dog, Coco, was stretched on the top of the cabinets by the kitchen sink. For the first time I realized that Coco was Cathy's dog and not Jon's, and that it followed her everywhere she went. I called Coco and petted her when she came to me.

I was suddenly startled by the sound of Jon's voice in the next room. I looked and was able to see him. He was already completely dressed, wearing a sports coat and tie. Something about the clothes looked like those which an older man might wear.

It was immediately clear that Jon knew that Cathy had been with me. He was angry. That surprised me somewhat, because I didn't think it mattered to him whether Cathy slept with another man, but clearly it did matter to him. It looked as if he were taking off his belt to beat Cathy with it.

She ran to the kitchen and Jon followed her, his face disfigured with anger. I had never seen him like that. Clearly he knew everything. And he probably knew that during the days he hadn't been there, I had been sleeping with Cathy.

Cathy came to me for protection, but I didn't want to demonstrate to Jon that anything was between her and me. I asked him to give her another chance. I told him that Cathy didn't like me, but she said, "I don't know."

I knew that wasn't the right answer. I continued pleading with Jon not to be angry, but clearly he wasn't going to change. He made a motion with his hands as if someone were masturbating and said, "I know somebody who breast stroked her to sleep saying, she's my baby now."

I answered, "No she's not my baby."