Dream of: 07 September 1989 "Why Me Lord?"

A black-haired woman who was my mother was lying in a bed with me. She let me squeeze her large voluptuous breasts and cram my face between them. I submerged my mug in her black pubic hairs and began performing cunnilingus on her. Then I raised my teeth back up to her breasts, biting them, reveling in the pleasure. Again I lowered my head to her vagina, this time pulling her breasts down with me, so that I had both her nipples and vagina in my mouth at the same time. She seemed to take as much pleasure in my wild squeezing of her breasts as I did.

Standing behind me was a naked 15 year-old girl who was my sister (not my actual sister). With my left hand, I motioned her to move closer and lie down on the bed beside my mother. Once my sister had stretched her naked body out on the bed, I reached my hand over to her and pushed my two middle fingers through her brown pubic hairs into her vagina. At first she seemed to enjoy my action; but when she suddenly cried out, I stopped. She seemed in terrific pain, as if she had somehow been hurt or injured. Although I didn't see any blood, a yellow substance, like urine, appeared to be seeping from her vagina onto the bed. My passions were quickly cooled by the spectacle. Obviously we wouldn't be able to continue having sex. Obviously I was going to have to leave.


As I was standing in a bus station, waiting for a bus, I began contemplating the kind of person I was, and what I had been doing with my life. I meandered around the station, talking to myself, calling myself disparaging names, until I noticed that an attractive blonde-headed woman had begun walking along beside me. She looked quite young, even though she was around 30 years old.

I began talking to myself in poetic form, still describing the kind of person I thought I was. Slowly I began to realize that the woman also seemed to be reciting some poetry to herself, and that even though she didn't know me, she was also describing me in a poetic way, also calling me names. I quickly saw that her mind worked faster than mine. However, even though I was slower than she, I thought of saying to her, "You don't know what depth lies within this skull." And somehow without speaking, it seemed that I was able to communicate my thought to her telepathically.

I finally spoke to her out loud and told her how fresh and exciting she seemed to me. As she laughed pleasantly, I thought I heard her call me "lascivious" and "scoundrel." But at the same time, I could tell that she wanted to be with me; and the two of us began walking closer together. As we continued talking, I discovered that we would be taking the same bus. I told her I wanted to sit next to her on the bus. She agreed. She made me feel wonderful, as if her company were a blessing for me. As we headed toward the door to board the waiting bus, I said, "Why me Lord? Why do you love me so much?"

But just before I reached the door of the station, I stopped. As the woman walked through the door, I suddenly realized I wasn't going to go with her. I could still see her, and I knew she was thinking about me; but I was watching her from afar, as if I had entered into a different time or dimension. I could see that I was now only a memory in her mind. Her face wasn't as happy as before and she appeared to only be recalling a fond memory. She was probably thinking about how pleasant it would have been if I would have been able to be with her; but now I was out of her life. It was sad for me, knowing I wasn't going to be with her. She had been so beautiful.

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