Dream of:11 July 1989 (2) "Unable To Think"
I was in the living room of a house whereJon and Cathy were living. Cathy and Jon were with me, and Jon and I had been drinking some beer. I had a little beer which I had brought with me, which I drank, and then I had a few drinks out of some long-neck brown bottles of beer which Jon had. Although I hadn't drunk much of either one, I was beginning to feel the effects of the beer.
Finally I lay down on the floor and Cathy lay down next to me. Somehow I reached out for her and pulled her next to me. While I was then lying on my back, I pulled her up on top of me so she was lying on her back on top of me, with the back of her head over my face. As my hands caressed her thighs and came ever closer to her pubic area, I asked her if she had ever had sex in this position.
Cathy had put on a lot of weight -- perhaps 15-20 kilograms heavier than usual. But I found that she was more attractive with the extra weight. I thought I should point out to her that she had been too skinny before and that the extra weight improved her attraction.
Jon in the meantime appeared to have first gone out of the room and then re-entered more than once. He seemed to not be overly concerned about what Cathy and I were doing, although he seemed to be making disapproving comments about it in the background. Finally Cathy rolled over to my side and I decided to kiss her. It seemed to me that Jon might be watching and I didn't think he would approve, but it didn't seem to matter much to me at this point. In fact, my mind felt quite numb, and it was beginning to occur to me that the beer had affected me rather dramatically. I didn't really feel intoxicated, but more as if my mind simply wasn't working correctly, as if I could hardly feel my mind.
I directed my lips toward Cathy's, and she seemed willing to kiss me. But as I tried to kiss her, my lips also seemed numb and I was unsure whether I was actually kissing her. Suddenly Jon burst into the room and shouted something about how Cathy and I shouldn't be kissing. Now he did seem upset. Cathy rolled away from me and I groggily tried to figure out what I was doing. I felt at a disadvantage because Jon seemed completely sober, while I felt as if I could hardly think.
I realized though that I was going to have to sit up on my knees with my legs tucked under me. I looked around the room for my shoes and saw an old pair of black tie-up work boots which I had worn in. But I remembered that I had left another pair of black slip-on boots here before, and I would prefer to wear them. I asked Jon if he would get them for me. He walked into the next room (apparently a garage) and then came right back. I thought the boots were in either a large sack or can in that room. I was startled by what I saw when Jon handed me the boots. Their tops had been chewed off and the rest of them had teeth marks on them from Jon's dogs chewing them. They were obviously completely ruined. I made some comments about how I couldn't possibly wear them now and how I wouldn't even have anything to wear to work tomorrow. But I didn't say that much because I remembered Jon and Cathy had given me the boots as a present in the first place. Besides, I was feeling so disoriented, I hardly knew what to say.
I sat here looking around, trying to figure out what to do next. I noticed I had some of my small computer disks lying on the floor and I began trying to gather them up to take with me. It took me a long time, and as I gathered them, I began to realize I was going to be leaving Jon and Cathy and not returning to visit them for a long while. Jon in fact seemed to be encouraging this by saying that I needed to go to Mexico to look for a job. For some reason he seemed to think that would be good for both of I.
Cathy meanwhile seemed to realize that I wouldn't be coming back and she began looking for something which belongs to me. Finally she found what she was looking for: a computer disk that had the word "ENGLISH" written across the front of it. It belongs to me.
I had been trying to sort through the computer disks as I gathered them up, but due to my disoriented state, I hadn't been able to do so well. Finally I simply began piling all the disks together and putting them in three different boxes. But by this time, me mind felt so numb, I was really having trouble talking or even functioning. I wasn't in any pain, but I just couldn't seem to think or talk. When I did speak, my words come out in a slurred mumble. I finally concluded that Jon's beer had something in it which was affecting me this way. I fell back on my back, gesticulated with my hands over my head, and mumbled, "I think that beer ... had something in it."
Jon realized something was wrong with me, and that I hadn't drunk enough to become intoxicated. He says, "Had to of."
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