Dream of: 19 April 1989 (2) "A Double Life"

I was in a house which reminded me of the West Side House (a four-room cottage in West Portsmouth, Ohio, which belong to my father and in which he allowed me to live in 1972). Although I also had another house where I lived part of the time, apparently I had been living in this house for a while. The house (quite neat inside) had bright red carpet in the living room. There was a chest of drawers in the living room as well as one in the back bedroom.

I was in another room when I heard the phone ring in the living room. Instead of answering the phone myself, I let the answering machine answer it. Although I couldn't hear who was on the phone, the caller left quite a long message, and the answering machine didn't click off for quite a while.

I finally walked in to the phone, and somehow, without even listening to the message, I knew the person calling had been my father. I picked up the receiver and called him. After he answered, we had a brief conversation which had something to do with his now being a lawyer and his having a law office in the Gay Street House. He didn't work much and he didn't handle personal injury cases (which could become too complicated). It sounded as if he would like me to return to Portsmouth and practice law there with him.

For a short while my mother also got on the phone and we had a short three-way conversation until I hung up. Only after I had hung up did I remember that I hadn't talked with my father for almost a year. I found it strange that he hadn't mentioned our long silence when I had just now talked with him.

What was I going to do today? For some reason I thought I was near a town on the border of the United States, and I remembered having once visited a town on the other side of the border either in Mexico or Puerto Rico. I had a vision of the street on the other side of the border the street led right up to a chain link fence which separated the United States and the other country. When I had been on the other side, I had met some friends whom I would like to see again.

Gradually, however, I realized that I was nowhere near the border and that I was actually near Portsmouth. I thought I might see if either Buckner or Anderson (former high school classmates and friends) were in town.

I picked up the phone to make a call, but before I could dial, I heard faint voices on the other end. Finally I realized my father and my mother were talking with one another. Obviously they didn't know I could hear them. Apparently, since the three of us had talked on three-way, somehow I was able to still hear them. After listening a while, I noticed how surprisingly strong and happy my mother's voice sounded. I thought she must be getting along all right. My father's voice on the other hand sounded clear, but he didn't sound happy.

The voices faded away due to the bad connection which I had. When the voices returned, they belonged to my father and another female (not my mother). The female sounded young I imagined she might be only about 20. My father seemed to know her well and he seemed to want her to come to see him at the Gay Street House (it sounded as if he wanted her to live with him). It also sounded as if he wanted her to work for him, although he told her he couldn't afford to hire her full time.

Finally he called her by her name, "Ann." I thought if I talked with him some day, I would have to ask him who Ann was. It sounded as if he had known her for a long time and it occurred to me that he had been living a double life for years. Apparently I simply hadn't known about his other life.

Ann told him over the phone that she might come to visit him, but that she first needed a seven day vacation. She was quite insistent on the vacation.

The voices faded again and when they returned, my father was talking with yet a different woman. This woman likewise seemed to know my father quite well. When I overheard the woman mention my name, I listened more intently. When she said something about the last time I had visited "from home," I wondered where she thought my home was. I thought of all the places I had been including Europe when I had been away from Portsmouth. Even I was unsure where my home was. As the woman talked, it sounded as if every time I would visit my father, the woman would disappear and not return until I had left.

My father mentioned something about when he had been an alcoholic a few years ago. It sounded as if he had quit drinking alcohol. I thought that had probably been good for him.

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