Dream of:05 April 1989 (3) "Claustrophobic"
I was standing on a platform which resembled a diving board – over some water. When I turned around and saw my father standing behind me, he introduced me to a bearded man in a black robe. The man (about 50 years old) was slender and somewhat shorter than me. He put in my right hand something which felt like a long metal staff, rather like a metal spear. After my father and the man stepped over to another diving board-like platform, I realized the man was the successor to Ayatollah Khomeini.
I heard my father mention how formally I was dressed, and how that when I had been there last year, I hadn't been so formal. I was wearing a blue coat, blue pants and a tie. The other man said, "I didn't even know it was Steven."
I hadn't yet said anything. I probably should have worn a sweater out there. I looked around and saw water all around me except on one side, where the beach was. On the beach was a throng of people sitting on what appeared to be bleachers. Apparently I was part of some kind of festivity which was taking place.
Now, instead of holding onto the metal staff, I appeared to be holding with both hands onto the railings of the rather flimsy platform. Looking around, I saw various other platforms with people standing on them.
It vaguely occurred to me that I might be the son of the president of the United States. I was apparently the son of someone quite important and clearly all the people on the beach were looking at me, but I still didn't say anything.
Looking over into the crowd, I noticed Carolina sitting there, perhaps with Paz. Carolina had thick dark eyebrows, and seemed to be cutting a part of one of her eyebrows which was near the center over her nose. It also looked as if she might be doing something to her hair on one side of her head. The more I looked at her, the more I realized she was absolutely beautiful. Although she didn't look at me, I kept looking at her, unable to get over her beauty. The features of her face were so strikingly beautiful.
I loved her, but since she was so young, my love resembled more the love which a father would feel for his daughter than what a man would feel for a woman. It seemed she loved me the way a woman would love a man. Even though I felt something wasn't quite right about what I felt for her, it didn't make that much difference to me, because in whatever manner my love existed, I did love her, and I didn't see how I could resist it.
The platforms began rotating as if they were spokes of a giant wheel. My platform quickly came right over Carolina, so fast she didn't even have time to notice it. My foot was down close to her face. I was wearing a black shoe, and I wiggled it in front of her. She now knew I was there, but she looked to the right, and then to the left as if she didn't see me. Finally she did look up at me with a large beautiful smile on her face. I was unsure before, but now I knew that she did like being with me, and that she was proud of the fact that she was with me. It made me feel good because she thought I was someone important.
Before I could do anything else, the platform again began rotating. The area in which the boards were rotating became ever smaller. In my mind for some reason I imagined all the platforms with people on them getting stuck in a small room, like an elevator. I imagined the elevator door closing and my not being able to get out. I wondered if I would feel claustrophobic and begin trying to open the door.
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