Dream of:26 February 1989 "New Business"
I had saved up some money and invested it in a business which I was operating in what seemed like a large old house. I had a few people working for me and knew if I did not start making money that month, I was going to lose the business. Therefore I knew I needed to work hard. When a black girl who had worked for me once before came by, I decided to put her to work again. I had a discussion with her about finding some scotch tape for me. I also hollered down into the basement where another white girl was working and I inquired about the scotch tape. The girl from the basement hollered back up and said something about the "nigger" having done something with the tape. I was afraid the black girl heard the remark, but the black girl seemed unconcerned.
We continued working until rather late and I ran out of things to do. Actually I wished I had more to do, but since I did not, we had to stop. Two women and Steve Buckner (a good friend when I was in high school) were left with me. Buckner began showing me a record album which had the names of two people on its front. He wanted to know if either of those people was a certain person. I knew who he was talking about, but I could not remember the person's name. Finally I remembered the name was Woody Guthrie. I told Buckner that neither of the people on the album was Woody Guthrie and Buckner seemed disappointed. But I told him that those song-writers were probably contemporaries of Guthrie's, and that Buckner could probably learn a lot about music of that time period by listening to the albums. I myself was thinking of beginning to collect music of particular songwriters, such as Guthrie and Bob Dylan. It seemed to me as if I could learn a lot by comparing the different albums of the same song writer. I also thought about the group "Grateful Dead."
Finally Buckner went upstairs to go to bed, and I found myself alone with the two women. The women were each sitting on a different bed in the room. I sat in one bed, then moved over to the other, and realized the woman in it was my friend Kim Leitel (who also seemed somewhat like my friendCathy). I asked her if I could get in bed with her. I was completely naked and although I was not planning to have sex with her, I did want to lie next to her. Reacting strongly against the idea, she got out of bed. When she then reminded me that she had a penis, I was thoroughly repulsed when I remembered that that was true. I wanted to get away from her and I decided to go upstairs where Buckner was. As I climbed up the stairs, the two women followed me. When I reached the top, I got down on my hands and knees and the two women did the same thing right behind me. We came into a room where I could see Buckner sleeping on the floor. As I crept toward him on my hands and knees, I began making some groaning sounds, intending to scare him. Finally I got so close I could touch his hair. I began pulling on it and finally pulled back a piece of hair in my hand. I thought it must be a toupee. I threw it on the women, thinking it would probably scare them.
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