I was involved in arranging for an older man (perhaps 50 years old) to adopt a small boy (perhaps 5 years old). We seemed to be in the hallway of a courthouse and the man was sitting on a bench. Other people walked up and sat down next to him. I turned away and when I turned back, it was suddenly clear to me that I was the father of the little boy who was being adopted.

I stood right next to the older man who was doing the adopting and told him I wanted to talk to him. He was still sitting down and I put my arm around his neck and whispered to him that I hadn't known the little boy was mine when I had begun the adoption. I wanted to tell him that nevertheless I wasn't going to stop the adoption, since it had already begun. I also wanted to tell him that the boy could be told who I was, and he might see me some day, but I was overcome with emotion and I was simply unable to talk. This was a rare state for me and I didn't remember having experienced it in a long time. I felt as if I might simply burst out crying if I tried to say anything. It seemed as if the older man understood what was happening to me and he understandingly didn't try to press me to speak.

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