Dream of:30 October 1988 "No Longer Afraid"
My father was driving a car in which my mother was sitting with him in the front seat, while my brother Chris and I were riding in the back seat. I seemed to be criticizing my father about something, but he seemed to be mostly ignoring me. As I talked, I could see my father looking at me sometimes through the rearview mirror.
We continued traveling down the road, until we came to a pickup truck stopped in the road. My father didn't stop, but simply pulled around the truck and proceeded. As he went around, I saw that the truck had stopped because it apparently had run into something. At first I thought I saw the body of a person lying in front of the truck, but looking more closely, I concluded the object was a tan-colored horse. I told my father he should stop and help, but he paid no attention and he continued traveling on.
The entire event with the truck and the horse reminded me of a dream I had once had in which my father had done the very same thing he was now doing. In the dream I had told my father how discourteous it was to pass by an accident like that without stopping to help, but my father hadn't paid any attention to me.
I finally told my father that what he had done was, .".. the height of discourtesy." But still he ignored me.
I turned to Chris (about 14 years old) who looked quite hot. He was dressed in a black jacket, white shirt and pin-stripped pants. I asked him if he would like to take off the jacket, and when he said he would, I helped him out of it. After laying the jacket on the seat on the other side of Chris, I asked my mother if the jacket were mine. Piqued by the question, my father told me that if I wanted the jacket back, I could have it. I likewise felt my temper rising, and I blurted, "I didn't say I wanted it back. I just wanted to know if it was mine."
Now I wanted to tell my father something. As I looked at his face in the rearview mirror, I said to him, "I'm not afraid of you anymore."
I proceeded to tell him that he had always tried to make me afraid of him. I said that he didn't try to teach me love or trust, but fear, and he had always succeeded. As far as his ability to instill fear, I said to him, "You were good at it."
I told him that I was no longer afraid of him. He in turn reached back and tried to pinch me hard on my shoulder, but I pulled his hand away. I felt as if I would fight him if I had to. I was old enough now so I could probably win in a fight against him.
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