Dream of:
26 October 1988 "Unpleasant Business"I had used an instrument which looked like a hay claw (a shiny, silver colored tool designed for grabbing bales of hay) to kill two men. The claw was nothing more than a steel rod curved so that one end served as a handle. The other end was bent, with the end sharpened. Although I didn't distinctly remember the actual details of killing the two men with the hay claw, I imagined that I had held the claw in my hand and stabbed the sharp end into the men's stomachs.
I still had the hay claw and I knew I must hide it somewhere where it would never be found. I stuck it into my pants pocket, but part of it was still sticking out. I walked around trying to find somewhere to hide the claw.
I was feeling a painful sense of remorse about having killed the men. It was a new type of feeling for me, because I sensed that it was a pain which would never leave me. I had done something which I could never undo. I accepted the fact that I couldn't change what I had done, and also that a certain sense of pain would always be with me. It was a very unpleasant feeling.
I came to a wooded area and went down a little path, which seemed to lead into a cave. Inside the cave I found a place where I was able to bury the hay claw. I left and hoped no one would ever find it.
***
I was standing in front of the
Pike County Farmhouse. My step-grandfather Clarence was also here and his dogs began barking, apparently at a vagrant who was going into one of the barns. Clarence grabbed a rifle and the two of us went to the barn to see if we could catch the vagrant. Once we were close to the barn, Clarence hollered to his dogs to go after the man. I heard a cry come from inside the barn, where the dogs apparently had attacked the vagrant. After Clarence called the dogs off, he and I went in the barn to look for the man.We both went to the second floor of the barn where I found a room which looked like a room in a house. A bed was in the room and the man had been lying on it. I was intrigued by the other furniture in the room, including a chest of drawers which seemed full of all kinds of old stuff. Apparently the stuff has been stored out here, and I had just never been aware of it. I thought I might like to go through it.
***
The vagrant meanwhile had lain or fallen down on the floor. He wouldn't rise when told to do so, so Clarence told his dogs to attack once again. The dogs did so, and the man cried in pain, but still wouldn't get up.
Clarence talked about shooting the man. I didn't think Clarence would do that, but I took the rifle from Clarence anyway. I felt sure that if I shot the man, Clarence would help me dispose of the body and not tell anyone. I thought about the fact that I had already killed two men before. That made doing this easier, because it wasn't my first time. However, it was still not a pleasant business.
I aimed the gun at the man's head and fired one shot, which entered his head. But he didn't seem to be dead yet. I might have to fire again.
Copyright 2005 by luciddreamer2k@gmail.com
