Dream of: 09 October 1988 "Deserved Disaster"

I had gone with some kind of religious group on an outing somewhere in the country; while there, I discovered Louise with me. I was quite distrustful of the people in this group, and I wasn't entirely sure why I was with them. I ended up in a narrow place filled with wild cows and bulls, some of which had large horns. The press of the animals grew until the other people and I were all crowded dangerously together. I even had to jump on top of one of the animals to escape.

***

I was in a room where the religious group was gathered for a ceremony. Now other people had joined the group and the new people seemed to be more advanced members of the group. I sensed that the more advanced members lived somewhere in some retreat, and that the first group of people regularly sent money to the second more-advanced group.

I was surprised to see many flowers in the room, including some bright red poinsettias, but the whole place made me feel ill at ease and I would have liked to leave.

***

Louise and I were in a car and had left the group. Gradually I spoke about sex; both of us admitted we wanted to have sex with each other. I was surprised to know Louise wanted to have sex with me, but I certainly wasn't going to resist. In fact, I was soon lying nude on my back, and Louise, likewise nude, was sitting on top of me, lowering her vagina unto my penis.

I had only been having intercourse with her for about a minute, when I felt as if I had to tell her something. It now seemed to me that just a short while ago I had had sex with a black woman who somehow seemed connected with the incident with the cows. I told Louise about it, because I realized I might have possibly contracted AIDS from the woman; I thought Louise should know.

Louise reacted violently and immediately climbed off. I wasn't particularly offended, since I was more concerned with the question of whether I had AIDS. I even wondered whether I might have caught AIDS from Louise while having sex with her.

I immediately pulled up my pants and once again began driving. When I looked outside, however, I saw that I wasn't on a road, but somewhere in a forest. I also seemed to be atop a large hill. I tried to control the car as it plowed through the woods; but before I could gain control, the car ran over the edge of the hill. As I plummeted through the trees, headed for possible disaster, I thought I somehow deserved what was happening to me. I just hoped I wouldn't be too badly injured.

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